Does your partner have these toxic traits?

RED FLAGS IN ANY RELATIONSHIP APPEAR FROM THE WORD GO, BUT BLINDED BY THE EUPHORIA PEOPLE TEND TO OVERLOOK THEM

Relationships do not work out always. Often, they break due to two main reasons — lack of compatibility or toxic traits in one or both partners. Director of Psychiatric Clinic & De-addiction Centre, Hope Trust, Rahul Luther, lists the most common toxic traits which should be taken as serious red flags in a relationship.

Excessive jealousy: The greeneyed monster is really corrosive. A partner who tends to be overly jealous will, over time, ruin the relationship beyond repair. Both partners in a relationship need to have complete freedom to make their own choices, as the foundation of any relationship is freedom and trust.

Controlling behaviour:

Predominantly, males have the desire to be the dominant partner in a relationship. This need to dominate their partner may reach the point of bullying, and comes from a place of insecurity.

Many wives get overly controlling too, about where their husbands go, who he hangs out with, who he speaks to on the phone, and so on. When a partner displays this trait, their significant other may feel suffocated.

Hot and cold behaviour:

Sometimes, people get into a relationship to fulfil their own needs rather than to contribute to the relationship as a whole. These people may display a warm behaviour when they want to feel loved, and will quickly go back to acting cold and distant once their emotional void or need for attention is filled. This is selfish behaviour and must be watched out for.

Dishonesty: This is a relationship killer. A person who lies about small things may also be lying about big things. Also, if a person has a tendency to lie about trivial things, it says a lot about how they view the whole concept of honesty, and exposes their flawed value system. Big or small, all lies are equally dangerous to a relationship.

Substance abuse: A person who depends on alcohol for stressbusting or obsessively smokes when going through emotional turmoil is very likely to become an addict in the future. So, before choosing a partner, pay close attention to their behaviour around potentially addictive substances.

Don’t wait around: If your partner displays any of these toxic traits, be aware that the relationship is likely to end sooner or later. “It is always better to end things as soon as these red flags are noticed, instead of waiting for the emotional damage to get beyond repair,” advises Rahul. In his opinion, there is no point in anyone trying to cure their partner or waiting for their partner to change. “You can never really change your partner if they have any of these toxic traits, so it’s always better to end it with them and move on,” he feels.

Better yourself: Of course, it takes two people to make, as well as to break a relationship. “If you notice that you have some of these toxic traits yourself, you must seek therapy and consciously work on them. If you do not do anything about your toxic traits, you run the risk of being in failed relationships,” says Rahul.

If you notice that you have any of these toxic traits yourself, work on them. Otherwise you may end up in failed relationships one after the other.

— RAHUL LUTHER,

Director of Hope Trust