‘Marriage should be based on love, trust..., not family or social pressure’

Kirti Kulhari shares her thoughts on social issues while speaking about her latest film, Shaadisthan

The actress’ upcoming film is set to release on 11th June across the OTT platforms. The film is about an eighteen-year-old who finds herself caught between her parents’ wishes while wanting to live life on her terms. Narrating an unforgettable journey from Mumbai to a small town in Rajasthan, the film’s story emphasises

an important social concern: about how unconventionality doesn’t equate to being morally wrong.

In the movie, actress Kirti Kulhari will be seen embarking on a life-changing road trip with two different generations. As she shares her insights on the movie as well as the social message in it, Kriti — who some weeks ago informed her followers via an Instagram post that she is separating from her husband Saahil Sehgal ‘Not on paper, but in life’— talks about generation gaps, kids trying to commit suicide owing to societal pressure and her idea about marriage.

Excerpts:

Q

DO YOU BELIEVE THAT UNCONVENTIONALITY DOES NOT EQUATE TO BEING MORALLY WRONG?

Absolutely! Firstly, what does it mean to be unconventional? For instance, what we consider normal could actually be abnormal; maybe being free and making your own choices is what should be normal. But as we don’t see a lot of people doing that, we consider it unconventional.

Logically, as a human being I should be able to live life my way — that’s my basic right. But today, someone fighting for their rights is classified as breaking stereotypes.

Q

Generation gap is prevalent not only in small villages and big cities in our country but also in western nations.

Even Shaadisthan takes off on that note, narrating the story of a family who despite having lived in Mumbai are ‘rigid’ in their outlook and are victims of conditioning. For instance, most parents believe they know more than their kids. But what they don’t understand is they unknowingly pass on their conditioning just because it worked for them. Not every parent is wise or mature enough to let go off their conditioning. Though they give birth to their kids, parents don’t grow up themselves. And when two immature partners bear kids, they’d struggle to offer the required support to their kids.

DO YOU THINK THE GENERATION GAP EXISTS ONLY IN VILLAGES AND SMALL CITIES? Q

THERE IS ALWAYS A GENERATION THAT REPRESENTS THE FREEDOM OF CHOICE AND ANOTHER GUARDING THE BEAUTY OF TRADITIONS. WHAT’S YOUR TAKE ON IT?

Personally, I don’t believe anyone should lead their life based on others’ choices and ways of traditions. I’ve seen many empowered, free-spirited people who still believe they need to do something in the name of traditions. When their offspring ask them why they have to follow those traditions, the parents don’t have a proper answer.

Q

WHAT IS YOUR IDEA ON MARRIAGE?

Well, my idea of marriage is very different today from what it was earlier. Today, for instance, I believe marriages are overrated and don’t think much of them unless they work out for the two people in it, allowing them to grow as individuals.

So also, I believe that if two people are happy together, they can be happy even without the stamp of marriage binding them together. Marriages should be in the hands of the two adults involved in it rather than in the hands of their family, so that they are happy and peaceful, and can live well.

And I think it’s perfectly fine if you choose to not be married too or when you’d like to get married — whether at the age of eighteen or fifty — because marriage is not the be all and end all of life. But whether you choose to marry or not, no one must be forced to live in a relationship that they don’t want to be in for the rest of their life.

Marriages should be based on love, trust and respect, and not on family pressure or social obligations.

PERSONALLY, I DON’T BELIEVE ANYONE SHOULD LEAD THEIR LIFE BASED ON OTHERS’ CHOICES AND WAYS OF TRADITIONS. I’VE SEEN MANY EMPOWERED, FREE-SPIRITED PEOPLE WHO STILL BELIEVE THEY NEED TO DO SOMETHING IN THE NAME OF TRADITIONS. BUT WHEN THEIR OFFSPRING ASK THEM WHY THEY HAVE TO FOLLOW THOSE TRADITIONS, THE PARENTS DON’T HAVE A PROPER ANSWER.