Our children need protection from predators

Rapes can occur anywhere — at any time, from the safest places to the most remote areas. An analysis of rapes worldwide demonstrates this. The teen gangrape case in Hyderabad, in broad daylight, has sparked panic among parents, who are worried about how t

Stepping out after dark is often discouraged for women folk in the Indian context, where rape is the fourth most common crime against women, especially if she has to travel through secluded areas. But news of the 17-yearold being gang-raped in upmarket Jubilee Hills — considered a relatively safe area for women — in an SUV in broad daylight, shocked the entire city.

That such a heinous crime could be committed inside a car parked on the side of the road, at an hour when hundreds of people pass by, in an upmarket neighbourhood with all the high and mighty residing there — clearly points to a new disturbing trend of how unsafe women can be at any time of day.

Also shows how the perpetrators have no fear of the law.

‘NOT-MY-BUSINESS’ ATTITUDE

“The issue is that we as a society are not concerned about what is going on around us. If bystanders happen to notice some wrongdoing in a vehicle, they don’t bother, and this is true for the entire society,” believes senior IPS officer Amit Garg.

Garg, the father of a daughter, also believes that with so much freedom and an ‘it’s-my-life’ attitude among teenagers, no youngster or even an adult for that matter, wants anyone, including their parents, interfering in their lifs. “We need to tell our daughters, my daughter for instance, when she goes out with her friends, that they should fetch their own drinks (when at pubs) and not wait for someone to get it to them as there is a possibility of the drink being spiked. When travelling with friends in a vehicle, at least two or three more girls should be present, and one of them must be sober,” suggests the IPS officer from the 1993 batch.

BLIND TRUST CAN BE FATAL

Garg, who previously served in various capacities in Hyderabad police, is currently posted as Joint Director at the prestigious SVP National Police Academy. He believes there is a distinction between known people and friends. “In this case, it appears that the victim was introduced to the accused by her friends in the pub and she made a mistake of trusting them,” he believes.

SETTING BOUNDARIES

“Parents must essentially help set boundaries for their children, regardless of age. Setting boundaries entails putting in place a system of both values and protocols. Where and why are they going, with whom, how and for how long, when and how will they return. On paper, it appears to be strict, but as parents, we all do it all the time — more or less. And yet, with the fast pace of life, these frequently fall through the cracks,” believes another IPS officer, Abhilasha Bisht.

HANDLE ADOLESCENTS WITH CARE

Given today’s world, both real and virtual, Abhilasha Bisht believes there is a very real danger of children, not just teenagers, being drawn into a predator’s virtual or real bait/hook. “Because they are just beginning to establish their own persona and independence, teenagers frequently rebel against such questioning. When you factor in hormonal imbalances, it’s easy to see that the agitated and often rebellious adolescent is actually in a very vulnerable stage of life. When I explained and reasoned things out to both of my teenagers, I found that they were more accepting,” adds the police officer and mother of two.

HESITANCY TO DISCUSS SEX

Most parents are embarrassed and hesitant to discuss sex with their children. “However, given that we are all facing not only the real world but also the virtual world, it becomes imperative for parents to own up to that responsibility, and if they can’t, they should get a friendly third party to talk about it,” says Bisht, Additional DGP of TS Special Police,

SEX EDUCATION A MUST TOP COP ABHILASHA LISTS OUT A FEW PRECAUTIONARY MEASURES:

● Bottled pepper spray, whistles and

emergency speed dials are simple precautions that can save

time and money.

● Girls and boys can both be victims and

predators.

● Our children are

our greatest treasures, and the greatest gift we can give them is our time, not

money.

Curriculum-based and regularly updated awareness and counselling sessions for both parents and students are required in the education system. Sex education should also be as widely available. “Most young people are introduced to pornography by accident or through a friend when they are as young as 12-13 years India. According to the results of an online survey I conducted, people were 1213 years old when they saw pornography. A ban on porn will not solve the problem; instead, comprehensive sex education must be made mandatory throughout India,” says Karishma Swarup, Sexuality Educator and creator of @talkyounevergot on Instagram.

SEVERE PUNISHMENT FOR RAPE

“It is not bound by time, space, or age. Rape is almost never an accident, as it is more often planned than accidental, and thus I oppose any relaxations for juvenile rape, high-profile rape, or marital rape. To prevent such heinous crimes, there must be strict capital punishment that is exercised and displayed in public. Parents must constantly educate their children on the importance of respecting women. Treating boy and girl children equally in terms of opportunities to grow and learn is critical in helping them understand that a boy is not superior or entitled to any benefits over a girl, based on his gender. Parents must also set an example by practising mutual respect in front of their children, who mimic their parents first. They must also speak out against drugs and excessive alcoholism, which contribute to a variety of crimes. Governments must conduct massive awareness campaigns in all educational institutions, and it should be mandatory to teach them to respect women,” says fashion designer turned social activist Divya Reddy Salla.

PARENTS MUST ESSENTIALLY HELP SET BOUNDARIES FOR THEIR CHILDREN, REGARDLESS OF AGE. SETTING BOUNDARIES ENTAILS PUTTING IN PLACE A SYSTEM OF BOTH VALUES AND PROTOCOLS. WHERE AND WHY ARE THEY GOING, WITH WHOM, HOW AND FOR HOW LONG, WHEN AND HOW WILL THEY RETURN. — ABHILASHA BISHT IPS officer

WE NEED TO TELL OUR DAUGHTERS WHEN THEY GO OUT WITH HER FRIENDS THEY SHOULD FETCH THEIR OWN DRINKS (WHEN AT PUBS) AND NOT WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO GET IT TO THEM AS THERE IS A POSSIBILITY OF THE DRINK BEING SPIKED. — AMIT GARG, IPS officer

BE SAFE

Teenagers must be well informed about their personal safety and should act responsibly. Madhu Jain, an entrepreneur and mother of two daughters, recommends downloading the ‘She Hawk’ app, which has done and made tremendous efforts to control many such crimes. “Women and girls should never let their guard down, regardless of the time of day or night, and should always keep pepper spray in their purse. Parents may have difficulty dropping off or picking up their children. So maybe the girls can carpool or go with a girl friend and make sure they have transport to go to the event/pub or where they plan to go. Always try to keep a female companion at home,” says Madhu.

Youngsters must be taught that it is acceptable to say no to their peers and that there is no shame in breaking away from the crowd. Pay attention to their instincts, they are early warning signs of danger. “There have been numerous reports of people being drugged, having their drinks spiked, and being molested, and this could happen with a non-alcoholic drink as well. There are evil and sick people everywhere, and things can happen at any time of day, and children are especially vulnerable to these issues because they lack the maturity to deal with them, so maintaining a general awareness of everyone around you and your surroundings is critical to avoiding untoward incidents,” says Dr. Sameer A. Mahendra, Chief consultant Mahendra Dental Hospitals and father of two young daughters.