Fight the fear and beat the board blues
I t’s that dreadful time of the year again, when your children and you are screechy, stressed, sleepless and swamped with butterflies in the stomach, holding textbooks and notes. Are you well-prepared or iffy? Tackling the much hyped board exams is a Herculean task. Well to me, it seems only yesterday when I sat in the stuffy hall and cried, cursing myself for not remembering the formula learnt diligently. Till today, I have nightmares regarding my math paper when I felt like running, unknown and unseen, after losing my breath in fright and embarrassment.
Bogged down by peer pressure, gruelling schedules, round-the-clock stress, students of all age groups undergo exam anxiety that affects performance. No one is actually a winner at this time of the year. Exam stress is basically a worry ‘to clear the exam’, ‘to live up to the expectation of parents’. Though a little stress is good to keep you motivated and get your adrenaline flowing, but over stress and exam phobia may take a toll on the psyche. I teach my students in college to manage stress by using the acronym of stress – S: set priorities, T: time and target activities; R: relax, E: expect the unexpected; S: see yourself in the big picture and S: set smart goals. Success is not final, failure is not fatal and it is the courage to continue that counts. Always compete with yourself not with others.
Positive parenting by creating an ambience of peace and ease can play a vital role in keeping the child calm and composed. Instead of being judgmental, acknowledge and accept your child’s abilities and capacities. Without worrying about what your family and friends will say, tone down your expectations as expectations put hurdles in the way.
How true are the observations of English writer Charles Calib Colton: “Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer.”
The peer pressure of becoming a doctor led my friend’s son burst out, “Is it fine for me to be so confused and clueless before the board exams? I fail to comprehend concepts of biology and don’t want to don a white coat but how can I let my parents down?” The worrying thoughts of the boy make me feel that as parents, we must avoid statements like: ‘You should’ or ‘You must’. Instead lift the child’s drooping spirit by saying, ‘You will do the best’. Appreciate accomplishments no matter how small. I feel as parents we can guide our children to set goals and support them but the drive for excellence must come from within.
Children, read, re-read, revise and remember. Don’t indulge in post-mortems, this can be discouraging and can sap your spirits for the next paper. There is a wealth of career options available. You don’t have to figure out your life’s mission the moment you finish your board exams. Life goals aren’t necessarily employment goals, face the real world and write your own future. Happily take choices as they come and not worry too much about exam and expectations of excelling. Avoid allnighters, eat structured and nourished meals, take a few deep calm breaths, concentrate on creative visualisation. Run towards the challenge with ease because the only way to escape from it is to trample it beneath your feet. Bid stress adieu and beat the board blues!
SUCCESS IS NOT FINAL, FAILURE IS NOT FATAL AND IT IS THE COURAGE TO CONTINUE THAT COUNTS. COMPETE WITH YOURSELF NOT WITH OTHERS