Warming up to an easy breezy conversation

“Your attire is beautiful you look gorgeous,” said one of the ladies at a get-together where I knew only a few people. It brought glow and glint in my eyes as I thanked her. Compliments, appreciating smiles, good and gracious words of applause make us happy when we meet people in social gatherings. Women are supposed to be natural talkers. For them, the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport, a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships. But, in general, the art of small talk and polite conversation is quickly dying.

Conversation can be defined as “light informal talk, idle banter, of pleasing with trifles, of being fascinated with nothing at all”. From the parlours of the 19th century Paris to the contemporary cocktail parties, conversation has long been celebrated as a social art. We humans have been filtered through cons of evolutions, beating all odds and are rightfully called social animals. Our mutual exchange of thoughts and ideas culminate in our code of survival but sadly this is changing.

Instead of living in a big joint family, we live in small nuclear families and spend our time and energies in texting, textual relationships, digital conversation, depending more on artificial intelligence rather than using our own. I believe texting is not talking and a phone is not a friend. No one has to learn to spell to talk. You see a little kid holding a conversation with an adult. He probably doesn’t know the words he is saying but he knows where to fit them to make his utterances logical and meaningful.

Happiness arises from touching every small topic with interest. True is the observation of American actress Jada Pinkett Smith, “For people to be able to sit down together and have a conversation, that is the power of love”. This blissful togetherness is getting lost in emoticons.

Sitting in the college café, I saw a group of students smiling together hardly interacting with one another. Most of them were busy with their smart phones. If not for their ceremonial selfies and parliamentary debate on who pays the bill, I would have believed them to be entities living in a sixth dimension, completely oblivious of their dimensional surroundings. I fail to comprehend how can social media replace the incredible combination of a long walk and calm conversation.

It is easy to dismiss small talk as superficial or trivial but I feel it is a ladder with small talk serving as warming up before the easy breezy conversation begins. Many a man owes his advancement largely to his ability to converse well. The most fruitful and natural exercise for our minds is informal small talk. It is the linchpin of every relationship whether it is personal, professional, social or familial.

My friend was against her son’s relationship with a girl of his choice but a little chat with the girl and the two of them bonded so well that it peacefully led to the wedlock of the youngsters.

There is a need to go beyond emoticons. Though there is no edit button in life yet mistakes will evolve you into a better person. Inject a few raisins of conversation into the tasteless dough of existence.

For me all I can say is, to quote Sylvia Plath, an American poet, “I love people as a stamp collector loves his collection. Every story, every incident, every bit of conversation is a raw material for me.”

Happy conversing!

THERE IS A NEED TO GO BEYOND EMOTICONS. THOUGH THERE IS NO EDIT BUTTON IN LIFE YET MISTAKES WILL EVOLVE YOU INTO A BETTER PERSON. INJECT A FEW RAISINS OF CONVERSATION INTO THE TASTELESS DOUGH OF EXISTENCE