When it’s time to loosen the apron strings

Parenthood is the most rewarding of all relationships. I believe that and have observed it in others too. From the time a couple plans to have a child, the magic begins.

The dynamics of the family goes for a six, the interactions change and the talk is more excited and animated, cautious and careful.

The baby who has yet to see the light of the day becomes the centre of decision-making. As Elizabeth Stone puts it, “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”

The baby is born, the joy and the happiness is boundless and immeasurable.

The parents are the world around which the child’s world revolves and vice-versa. In fact as the infant grows into a school-going child, the parents become friends with the child’s friend’s parents.

And so the journey continues. The parents interact, compare trajectories of their ward’s growth and development and try and do their best for their offspring.

Time waits for no man, we have heard it all too often, but knowing in theory and going through it are very different things.

When the child is in the teens, the parents get their first jolt.

The kids do not want them at their birthday parties any more.

They want to have fun with friends. Time to loosen one knot on your apron string!

It hurts a wee bit, but one adjusts because we are still living together.

And then as the children move on to realise their dreams and aspirations the parents find themselves some- what lost and purposeless.

Now is the time to completely loosen the apron strings, very, very difficult but still doable.

Many people are unable to do so and fall ill, physically or psychologically, clinging to their progeny, demanding attention whichever way possible.

Just as it is the nature of water to flow from the top downwards, similarly parents’ love their children unconditionally.

It may or may not be reciprocated but love flows nevertheless.

As Oscar Wilde says, “Children begin by loving their parents, as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.”

That is life and interestingly everyone’s perception of everything in life is different.

The fact that your own whom you have nurtured with love and care are able to provide for the emotional and physical needs of their families should be a source of pride and happiness for you.

The feeling of loneliness is a part of life and has to be dealt with adjustment and purpose. Says Khalil Gibran and I quote, “Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you and though they are with you yet they belong not to you”.

When we understand that we can live with ourselves in peace.

THE FACT THAT YOUR OWN WHOM YOU HAVE NURTURED WITH LOVE AND CARE ARE ABLE TO PROVIDE FOR THE EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL NEEDS OF THEIR FAMILIES SHOULD BE A SOURCE OF PRIDE AND HAPPINESS FOR YOU