Role reversal: The child is the father of man
The child is the mother of all reforms, at least for me. It’s my closely guarded secret, but I grew up cheating frequently on the morning ritual of brushing my teeth. The habit continued even after marriage till my daughter was two years old and we thought of introducing her to dental hygiene.
This simple task sent me into a lot of soul searching. My conscience did not permit me to start the lesson till I passed the test of being a worthy teacher in my own eyes. It turned into my nirvana moment and I vowedto besincereand regular in brushing. I don’t know in what context William Wordsworth wrote the line, “Child is the father of man”, but for me it means that whatever has not been learnt by you will be forced taught by your children.
Like all parents, we too wanted our kids to grow into responsible adults with a good and healthy lifestyle. The only way to achieve that, I discovered after running through multiple books on parenting, was to make myself the type of person I wanted my children to become. With this talisman guiding me, I set on an eternal journey of self reform. I gradually quit smoking, drink- ing and reduced junk food and aerated drinks followed by some fundamental changes in lifestyle like getting up early and exercising daily.
My driving habits changed so did my behaviour with my parents. I volunteered to be a full-time caregiver to my parents. The changes did wonders to my personal fitness and health apart from building my self-esteem.
It’s a common sight to see people blame and abuse their children of being selfish, self-centred and rude towards their elders. I wonder how these parents were during their younger days. Did they have the qualities they are now expecting out of their children? Did they look after their parents and were kind, caring and honest towards life? Did they teach correct values or be role models?
My take is that most of them merely pushed and prodded their children into the neverending rat race of marks, merit, competitions and high-paying jobs at the cost of all other attributes.
Many of them selfishly used their children to achieve their unfulfilled desires, ignoring their natural interests and making them what they finally became.
“Children have never been good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them,” is a famous quote of American writer James Baldwin that can sum up the how and why of parenting. The quote can also be an advice/warning for parents.
If you follow unhealthy eating habits your children too will do the same. The same goes for so many other things such as driving, breaking rules, treating your partner and elderly parents. Children are most likely to pick up good habits from you like watching theatre, reading books, social/ community service, writing etc. So be careful of your activities for children follow what you do and not what they are told to do.
CHILDREN FOLLOW WHAT YOU DO AND NOT WHAT THEY ARE TOLD TO DO. LIKE ALL PARENTS, WE TOO WANTED OUR KIDS TO GROW INTO RESPONSIBLE ADULTS. THE ONLY WAY TO ACHIEVE THAT WAS BY SETTING AN EXAMPLE