Pride that dines on vanity sups on contempt

Every year, a Ram Katha is organised in the open space in front of our house. It is a pleasure to be part of pious renderings as I can listen to the chanting sitting at home itself. At the end of every session, a feast is served to all. As people partake of the feast, the microphone constantly blurts out, “We are grateful to such and such family that has graciously paid for the feast.” Sitting at home, I marvel at the charity and vanity of the rich who take pride in getting their names announced umpteen times from the platform.

Family pride, caste pride and national pride are expressions we often hear of. We come across people asserting superiority by fixing plaques in temples, outside halls and charitable institutions that proclaim their generosity. There are few who make substantial donation for charity and don’t wish their names to be public. This is true service negating the self.

All religions warn against vanity. From Greece comes the story of Narcissus who admired himself so deeply that he couldn’t look away from his own reflection in the water. Since he couldn’t bring himself to look up to see or appreciate who loved him, he couldn’t return love. Nothing could deviate him from self love. What a tragedy to die unable to relate to anything but an image of oneself.

This culture of self praise is propounded by glossy advertisements and a celebrity-ridden culture that makes one believe that self-obsession is in vogue and we fall in this honey dipped ‘vanity trap’. We all have a deep innate need to belong to someone or something. We all need to stay relevant. Human need is to accomplish the basic physiological, social and self esteem needs.

Nobody dreams of being one among millions but desires to be noticed for self-proclaimed abilities and capabilities. When we move with friends, col- leagues and relatives, we deal with people bristling with pride and prejudice, snobbery and vanity. Why do we wish to rev el in our own praise? To talk about one’ s successor philanthropy is not wrong but I am not sure where permissible pride ends and vanity begins. Some people feel happy to be admired, some feel good by sarcastically criticising others and still some by expressing grandiose opinion of themselves.

Let’ s meet am an who thinks his stature is larger than life constantly preaching others about his moral worth and rags to riches success story. He lives in the myth that no one has overcome adversity and resisted temptations as successfully as he has. He talks and writes about care and compassion but himself lack sit. All conversation with him is naturally hampered by a bar called‘ I, me, myself’. If only he reads Blaise Pascal, “Do you wish people to think well of you? Don’t speak well of yourself.” What a pity this brilliant personality fails to see goodness in others!

Human hopes and creeds have their root in human needs. True, but there is a thin line between pride and vanity. Jane Austen, in her iconic novel ‘Pride and Prejudice’, says, “Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us.”

Surely, being mindful of the difference will help us grow into better human beings. In all probability, the joy of being an anonymous benefactor can make one take pride in oneself and make life worthwhile. To be an unknown and unseen empathiser is the best realisation of one’s essence and affluence.

WE COME ACROSS PEOPLE ASSERTING SUPERIORITY BY FIXING PLAQUES IN TEMPLES, HALLS AND CHARITABLE INSTITUTIONS THAT PROCLAIM THEIR GENEROSITY. THERE ARE FEW WHO DONATE AND DON’T WISH THEIR NAMES TO BE MADE PUBLIC. THIS IS TRUE SERVICE NEGATING THE SELF