Just chill, life is never a complete picture
Is it just me, or does being on the wrong side of the 30s make one philosophical? It was a reunion of sorts last week. Old school and college friends got together this winter break at my parents’ place, making nostalgia even sweeter. We got talking about the milestones achieved — marriage, work, babies. Some of us had all three ticked, some were in the process and a few were still figuring out where they were headed in life. We were all living different lives from each other. We were continents apart. Some of us were just starting out with marriage, some were well into their second babies and some were climbing the corporate ladder at a break neck speed. However, we realised, that despite the stark differences in our lives, wehadathingincommon.Our life was an incomplete picture. Something or the other was missing. We were clamouring to find that one missing piece to complete our puzzle.
Life is not an a la carte menu. We don’t get to pick and choose. It is a sumptuous, filling buffet spread. It may have some of your favourite dishes on some days. Some dishes you might not like. However, you pay for the entire meal — regardless. So in the buffet called life, you are served with struggle, strife, joy, happiness, dejection and contentment in appropriate measure. When marriage brings with it companionship and love, it also binds and in some cases stagnates. That binding love may bring with it frustration at some stage. “Many a talented man and woman have been lost to marriage,” my spinster aunt would say. But ask someone who craves the steadiness of domesticity. They would trade in anything under the sun for domestic bliss. Who is to say whose missing puzzle piece is more important than the others?
Likewise, success is seldom unaccompanied by strain and toil. At times, it even takes away from the joy, which follows at a later stage. Once attained, one wonders if the milestone was even worth the sweat and tears? At times, the journey, however tumultuous, is more pleasurable than the destination. All the time, one pines for the landmark, and once it is attained, its value diminishes.
So then, one asks, when is the picture complete? Does there ever come a point, when nothing seems amiss. Is it ever complete?
A dear friend introduced me to Bhai Vir Singh’s poetry. The Padma Bhushan recipient, scholar and poet, played an important role in revival of Punjabi literature. His poem ‘Hosh-Masti’ beautifully captures the ‘incompleteness of the picture of life’ and had a deep impact on me.
The last two lines are — ‘Hoshaan Naalon Masti Changi... Rakhdi Sadaa Tik- aane’ (It is better to be a little ignorant and carefree, rather than being completely aware. A nonchalant, breezy attitude keeps one grounded).
Rather than run helter-skelter, looking for that missing piece of puzzle to one’s life, Bhai Vir Singh, the genius poet, urges us to be serene, untroubled, and ‘mast’. The buffet laid out by the Almighty is non-negotiable. He will take special care to give us our favourite dishes on some days. But, he will test us too, by serving us some of our not-so-favourite ones, which almost feel unpalatable. Despite it all, surprisingly, we will survive. So, shake off the stiffness and be‘ mast ’. The completeness of the picture is only a fleeting moment.
IN THE BUFFET CALLED LIFE, YOU ARE SERVED WITH STRUGGLE, STRIFE, JOY, HAPPINESS, DEJECTION AND CONTENTMENT IN APPROPRIATE MEASURE