Their lives, their words and my life lessons

Learning lessons from the experience of others is a valuable trait that shortens our learning curve and makes us wiser.

I can recollect a few lessons I picked up from others that became more relatable when they actually connected to reallife situations in due course.

When I was in Grade 6, my best friend announced over a round of hot dogs and cola during the school recess that “One should never expect anything from anyone.” I looked at her and nodded. This sweeping statement made little sense to me and in all likelihood to her as well. Apparently, she had overheard a grown-up say this and passed on the nugget of wisdom without fully understanding its import. Yet, my impressionable young mind liked the sound of the words and they lived on in the archives of my memory.

As life unfolded, and brought in a few disappointments, I began to fathom how true these simple words were. Once we train ourselves to stop expecting from people, we actually release pressure from our relationships and become more grateful.

Shortly after we completed our bachelor’s degree, a close friend got married. In order to cheer up the friend’s mother who was feeling lonely, I visited her after college hours.

Sharing her anxiety about how her naive daughter would balance her own hopes and desires with the obligations of the new relations she had formed, aunty read aloud a quote from a book. “Never keep your emotions bottled up inside you. Express them. Or, allay them. Else one day, they will be vented out in an uglier form.”

Since then, I have come across umpteen instances of people suppressing their feelings and then getting agitated and restless because of it, till it comes out like an explosion.

Every time I come across this form of behaviour in others, or even in myself, aunty’s words ring true. This has been the second enduring lesson in my life.

One afternoon, I returned home to find my mother engrossed in a heart-to-heart conversation with her cousin. As I joined them, I was able to hear the long-drawn inference of my aunt, “I sincerely believe we should never cast aspersions on anyone. When we casually question their character or calibre and move on, do we ever spare a thought about what problems might arise for that person because of one stray remark?”

Later on, in social life or on the work front where I often played a supervisory role, every time I came close to passing my verdict on someone, I remembered those profound words of my aunt and allowed a reasonable margin to others. Of course there are occasions when I criticise people, but owing to this lesson that I imbibed at an apt time in life, I exercise restraint and avoid scathing remarks. However, I have witnessed instances of people landing others in trouble with their careless statements that eventually rebound on them too.

I can safely conclude that life lessons are called that for a reason. We need to experience life to learn them and witness them getting validated.

ONCE WE STOP EXPECTING FROM PEOPLE, WE RELEASE PRESSURE FROM OUR RELATIONSHIPS