Unlocking the treasures of friendship

Walking ahead unfazed, she led me through the dusty and chaotic streets of the old bazaar, while I scurried behind trying to keep pace.

My desire to dabble in designing had landed me in unfamiliar, and uncomfortable, territory of the city, fortunately in the company of a friend who was as well-versed in the tools of designing as she was in traversing tricky lanes. She showed me decrepit little stores that could be reliable sources of fabric, introduced me to skilful embroiderers and pointed out the haberdashers with racks of threads, laces and ribbons.

Soon enough, I discovered that this line of work didn’t offer the creativity I was seeking and gladly opted out. However, one lasting impression of the whole experience that lived on was this first trip to the bazaar with a friend who accompanied me enthusiastically.

In times when selfishness is regarded as akin to self-care, people who make themselves available to others, in spite of the inconvenience, are the most precious.

A few years later, while planning a story session for children, I was trying to schedule a brainstorming meeting with another friend who was to collaborate with me for this venture. Deciding on a time for the meeting that suited us both was proving to be hard, and she turned down two suggested time slots, citing reasons such as visiting a friend’s ailing mother and taking a visiting friend around town.

I was exasperated and felt that she was taking our little enterprise too lightly, giving priority to things that could have been easily rescheduled.

However, later, I was able to admire her for the commitment to stand by her friends even if it took her attention away from a venture that was close to her heart.

It can be hard to give your time to others, to be by their side or to hold their hand in grief. The thoughtful ones manage to do it graciously despite the numerous preoccupations at their own end.

At a party you host, there would be a few who arrive early, are helpful with lastminute arrangements and leave late with a smile that all went off well.

Then there are the treasured ones who watch our body language and are adept at picking up intangible cues that most would miss.

Just as old friends are valued, new friends bring fresh energy to the soul. As soon as we see them, we know an adventure is about to begin.

We need to keep encountering the ones who enrich our lives simply by sharing their own experiences so well, that it opens a new window to the world for us.

It’s a rewarding association with the ones who make us revive our old passions, interests and talents or even help discover new ones. You would be eager to finish a new book or a TV show, just to discuss it with them.

Plus, the ones who have the will and the skill to resolve conflicts between their friends and de-escalate tensions when required.

So, if life is a treasure hunt, finding some of these is nothing short of unearthing a cache of gold and silver.

WHEN SELFISHNESS IS REGARDED AS AKIN TO SELF-CARE, PEOPLE WHO MAKE THEMSELVES AVAILABLE TO OTHERS ARE PRECIOUS