Be open-minded, usher in era of real modernity

“Cooking and cleanliness are life-saving, not gender-specific skills,” my niece Amulaya’s social media status reads. It’s an indicator of the contemporary generation’s mental make-up. Women are more assertive and firmfooted today.

Rewinding to my childhood, we sisters grew up in a liberal, congenial home, full of warmth and encouragement. Our parents encouraged us to be independent and progressive. A sense of responsibility was instilled through small acts such as operating our own savings account, doing post office chores and shopping for grocery. Our parents did not chaperone us around and gregarious girls that we were, we had friends from both genders. We had the freedom to play outdoors and visit friends, but our parents needed to know our whereabouts and we needed to be home before sunset.

Our parents insisted on discipline and we were groomed to be self-reliant. We ironed our school uniform and polished our shoes and the habit gradually extended to managing our gadgets. If we were using an oven, we learnt its basic upkeep. We learnt to fix the fuse, change the bulb and gas cylinder, put up festive lights and festoons; we were deft at it all. We learnt knitting, crochet, macrom and baking as hobbies. We rode bicycles and graduated to scooters. We acquired a driving licence when not many girls ventured in the field. No activity was taught as gender specific.

Consequently, as mothers we passed on this legacy to our children. We have never differentiated between children on the basis of gender. We have taught them basic life skills. So, while my daughter Suvitti can fix the computer and technical glitches deftly and sail her father in e-teaching breezily, my tweenies Adit and Vidit can conjure culinary delights in a jiffy. No doubt my niece Nighat can drive you around in the chaotic traffic, manage her grandfather’s medical regimen meticulously yet Angad’s grilled sandwiches are sumptuous beyond words. Shantanu cooks pasta so well and even Panav knows how to shell peas, while little Neysaa is happy behind the steering wheel.

In olden times, society had a primary distinction in traditional roles: Men as breadwinners and women as homemakers. Generations of a family lived under the same roof. Over time, nuclear families sprung up. While more avenues opened up for women, men too pitched in to share responsibility. Progressive times saw a blurring of orthodox roles. Now that children move far from home in academic pursuits and later to pursue lucrative careers, it becomes imperative for them to hone their life-surviving skills. As matrimonial partners, each has to bear the yoke of household chores irrespective of gender. The need of the hour is to reorient our upbringing.

To quote Judith Butler, “Masculine and feminine roles are not biologically fixed but socially constructed.” So, let us break the hackneyed mindset and usher in an era of real modernity.

NOW THAT CHILDREN MOVE FAR FROM HOME IN ACADEMIC PURSUITS AND LATER TO PURSUE CAREERS, IT BECOMES IMPERATIVE FOR THEM TO HONE THEIR LIFE-SURVIVING SKILLS IRRESPECTIVE OF GENDER