Tracking the tumultuous teenage years
The recent killing of a school principal by a Class 12 boy sent left our town of Yamunanagar in a state of shock. Youngsters have been exhibiting aggression running on hormones and teenage angst. Students being murdered in school and now a principal shot dead by a student; where are we heading? These heinous acts herald the death of conscience.
Adolescence has always been a teaser, an overlapping of childlike tendencies and a rebellious attitude of robust youngsters leading to what psychologist Erik Erikson calls “role diffusion”, the failure to be a congruent stable self. We live today in a world of fast food, express delivery and time-bound programmes.
Born and brought up in an era of instant gratification and smart phones, youngsters are wired for pronounced impatience. For instance, my neighbour’s son recently hit his motorcycle with his sturdy shoes as it failed to ignite with a kick. He fiercely turned around, his face spewed raw anger. With head lowered, the helpless father walked inside. I observed the boy’s expressions; blank indifference and scorn were writ large on his face. On a busy road the other day, a group of youngsters wanted to overtake but due to heavy traffic, they weren’t able to do so. They kept honking till they eventually overtook, abusing an elderly couple ahead of us and raising their hands in defiance and arrogance.
These are no longer isolated incidents as can be seen from reports from teachers, police statistics, psychologists, counsellors, social workers, newspapers and others and are not limited to any section of society, economic, social or religious.
Teenage temper and tumult made me interact with a group of students in college aged between 17 and 20 years, most of them enjoying the best that money and position of parents can give. I asked, why is there a constant anger and intense desire to rebel against the will of teachers and parents? Why do youngsters have scant respect for elders? Their replies set me thinking. Their answers, I find, are incomplete. “Studies are heavy and boring. Peer and parental pressure to perform well reduce us to emotional wrecks and intellectual robots. We don’t know how rote learning and textbook theory can shape a bright future and get us decent jobs. Our parents don’t understand us. The teacher’s approach is examination-oriented.”
I feel it is time to take a serious note of the situation. Parenting in the new millennium doesn’t come with an instruction manual. Parents seem to have lost control over their children. Most are caught in anxieties of their own whether it’s marital, physical, psychological, career-related or financial. This leads to a communication gap as the family doesn’t sit together, talk or laugh and share small joys and sorrows. Children remain bereft of values of love, care, support, encouragement, discipline and guidance.
We as a society are paying the price of raising a generation that is rebellious and indulges in gang violence, cyber crimes, drugs, suicides, murder. What a wanton waste of talent, potential and life!
It also puts a question mark on the efficiency of education objectives and pedagogy. There is a need to tweak the course content and fine tune it with soft human skills crucial for retaining the humanness of human beings, infuse empathy, professional ethics, decency in public and private life to make students connect to the teaching, conflate their energy with positivity, shunning their anxieties and apprehensions, resentment and regrets, detestation and destruction.
Parents and teachers, media and society must join hands so that our teenagers become emotionally stable, physically fit, intellectually vibrant, spiritually enlightened and socially committed.
PARENTS SEEM TO HAVE LOST CONTROL OVER CHILDREN. MOST ARE CAUGHT IN ANXIETIES OF THEIR OWN WHETHER MARITAL, PHYSICAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL, CAREERRELATED OR FINANCIAL. THIS LEADS TO A COMMUNICATION GAP