Don’t fret over the missing puzzle piece

Is it just me, or does being on the wrong side of 30 make one philosophical? It was a reunion of sorts the other day. Old school and college friends got together this winter break at my parents’ place, making nostalgia even sweeter. We got talking about the milestones achieved -- marriage, work, babies. Some of us had all three ticked, some were in the process and a few were still figuring out where they were headed in life. We were all living different lives from each other. We were continents apart. Some of us were just starting out with marriage, some well into their second babies and some climbing the corporate ladder at a breakneck speed. However, we realised, that despite the stark differences in our lives, we had one thing in common. Our life was an incomplete picture. Something or the other was amiss. We were clamouring to find that one missing piece to complete our puzzle.

Life is not an ala carte menu. We don’t get to pick and choose. It is a sumptuous, filling buffet spread. It may have some of your favourite dishes on some days. Some dishes you may not like. However, you pay for the entire meal, regardless. So in the buffet called life, you are served with struggle, strife, joy, happiness, dejection, contentment in appropriate measure. When marriage brings with it companionship and love, it also binds and in some cases stagnates. That binding love may bring with it frustration at some stage. “Many a talented man and woman have been lost to marriage,” my spinster aunt would say. But ask someone who craves the steadiness of domesticity. They would trade in anything under the sun for domestic bliss. Who is to say whose missing puzzle piece is more important than the others’?

Likewise, success is seldom unaccompanied by strain and toil. At times, it even takes away from the joy, which follows at a later stage. Once attained, one wonders if the milestone was even worth the sweat and tears. At times, the journey, however tumultuous, is more pleasurable than the destination. All the time, one pines for the landmark, and once it is attained, its value diminishes.

So then, one asks, when is the picture complete? Does there ever come a point when nothing seems amiss? Is it ever complete?

A dear friend introduced me to Bhai Vir Singh ji’s poetry. He was a Padma Bhushan recipient, scholar and poet, who played an important role in the revival of Punjabi literature. He wrote a poem called Hoshmasti, which had a deep impact on me. The ‘incompleteness of the picture of life’ is beautifully captured in the poem. The last two lines are: ‘Hoshaan naalon masti changi... Rakhdi sadaa tikaane’

It is better to be a little ignorant and carefree, rather than being completely aware. A nonchalant, breezy attitude keeps one grounded.

Rather than run helter-skelter, looking for that missing piece of puzzle to one’s life, Bhai Vir Singh, the genius poet, urges us to be serene, untroubled, and ‘mast’. The buffet laid out by the Almighty is non-negotiable. He will take special care to give us our favourite dishes on some days. But he will test us too, by serving us some of our not-so-favourite ones too, which almost feel unpalatable. Despite it all, surprisingly, we will survive. So, shake off the stiffness and be ‘mast’. The completeness of the picture is only a fleeting moment.

IT IS BETTER TO BE A LITTLE IGNORANT AND CAREFREE, RATHER THAN BEING COMPLETELY AWARE. A NONCHALANT, BREEZY ATTITUDE KEEPS ONE GROUNDED