Feeling the pinch of postponing ‘I do’
‘WE WOULDN’T MIND A SIMPLE SIKH WEDDING. THE TOUGHEST PART IS NOT KNOWING WHEN WE CAN GO AHEAD WITH ANYTHING AT ALL’
Bhavneet Kaur, 33, a teacher from Delhi, wanted her wedding to be on the International Day of Happiness, March 20. When the pandemic hit and then the lockdown, Kaur, like scores of other brides and grooms, had to hurriedly decide whether to go ahead with a tiny, trimmed version, or postpone.
She decided to postpone, but it was heart-breaking, expensive and stressful.
With estimates of a year before such large gatherings can resume, others have decided to go ahead with their weddings, getting married via video call and streaming celebrations live, across multiple cities, with people dressed up and dancing. The matchmaking portal Shaadi.com is even offering a wedding-from-home service with tips on bridal mehendi and makeup, and contacts for priest who can conduct the rites long-distance.
Wedding planners say the scale of weddings will likely stay smaller for a long time to come.
Chitwan Lamba, 28, a research scholar at Iiteverywhere.”
Delhi, was forced to scale down hers, scheduled for May 3. And she’s still not sure when or how it’s going to happen.“by midmarch, we knew most of our family could no longer fly in to Delhi,” she says. Certain things could not be cancelled: outfits, giveaways for friends and family. The jewellery had been ordered, invitations designed. “My fiancé and I wouldn’t mind a simple Sikh wedding. The biggest challenge is not knowing when we can go ahead with any of this,” she says.
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“We had three weddings scheduled between the end of March and middle of May. All have been put on hold,” says Madhura Linagayat, photographer at Little Big Wedding. Work on weddings till end-july is at a halt.
“The last wedding we shot was on March 12. Half the guests had to attend via Whatsapp video and Skype, and there was sanitiser
And the process of deferring an event so large and significant has been harrowing for both sides. “On March 12, we decided to postpone and started uninviting people,” says Kaur.
The couple figured they could still register at the court as planned. “It felt unreal to think of doing this with just two witnesses.
And my father being over 65 and diabetic couldn’t be one of the two anymore.” It didn’t happen anyway. The court had suspended all activity.
“So we just opened up some wine and started relaxing because there was nothing we could do any more,” Kaur says. “You marry so you have that certain someone with you at every step. I’ve found that person and it doesn’t matter that we aren’t married on paper yet.”