Connecting with Corona over the phone
The phone rang around midnight. At first I ignored it, but the caller persisted. “Hello,” I mumbled without looking at the number. “Hello,” answered a spooky voice like that of Gollum in The Lord of the Rings.
“Who’s that?” “It’s me, Coronavirus.”
Cut the call, cut the call. Oh God! Please give me a mask for the ears too! I stammered to myself. Sensing the panic, the voice at the other end said: “Relax! I’m not going to cause any harm to you. Just as you people yearn to connect with each other, I too wanted to share my point of view.”
“What point of view? You monster! Better drown yourself in the deep sea. Why are you jumping around like an unbridled devil? Look at the havoc you’ve created all over the world. Time is passing by and we’re not even aware of it. From spring to monsoon, we have missed all the fun.”
“I didn’t come out of the blue. I had sent Ides of March with a warning. No?” the voice said.
“You brought the whole world to a standstill. Businesses were shut, people lost their jobs, and a large section ofsociety was pushed to the brink of starvation. And the daily-wagers…! They shall never forgive you,” I went on.
“Wait, wait, grande dame.” “How dare you call me that!” My ego was hurt as I cherish my youthful exuberance.
“What else should I call you, an old hag?” It let out a laugh, making me sulk.
“Don’t laugh; I know you have made people look their real age these days. Anyway, come back to the real issue,” I said.
“I’m sad for the daily-wagers, but that was not my doing. I had only forced people indoors. Your skewed system sent them out on the roads,” the voice said.
“What about the loneliness and boredom that has taken over people due to social distancing?” I said. “Within days, you people panicked about isolation. Have you ever thought about millions of elderly abandoned by their families, fending for themselves in empty nests or languishing in old-age homes, most of them without an access to even a mobile phone? Don’t you think I’ve brought families closer, making them spend quality time together, something they always wanted but couldn’t do? I’m the shock-absorber that has trained the world to cope with the crisis. Today, a businessman knows how to tackle the worst situations; a youngster knows how to handle a job loss, and what options to explore in such a contingency. Most importantly, people have realised the futility of extravagance, and how important it is to save for a rainy day, using their resources judiciously.
You should give me credit for giving the world such significant life lessons.”
The virus left me speechless. “When do you plan to go away?” I said after a pause.
“It’s up to you people. You boast ofyour scientific advances. Let me see how long it takes you to develop a vaccine. Frankly, even I’m tired and would like to rest in peace.” Suddenly, the call got disconnected.
Waking up, I had the conversation clear in my mind. Should I tell others about it? Should I share it on Whatsapp, warning people not to answer this number. I picked up the phone, and it struck me that I had switched it off the previous night just as I usually do.
SENSING THE PANIC, THE VOICE AT THE OTHER END SAID: “RELAX! I’M NOT GOING TO CAUSE ANY HARM TO YOU.”