Tackling tweens: A mom’s secret to a peaceful day
The morning starts with the buzz of the alarm clock. “Five more minutes, please,” whimpers my 10-year-old son. “It just takes 30 seconds to get ready for the online class, mom,” he says. I holler back, “Yes dear, you’re right. You hit the snooze button, and I’ll cut down 30 minutes of your PS (Playstation) time in exchange.”
Suddenly, I hear a thud and a jump. The not-so-little monster is up from his bed and on his way to the shower.
Over the years, I’ve mastered the art of negotiation and can definitely qualify as a door-to-door salesperson (the extinction of the job is one of the primary reasons I did not apply). All thanks to my son. Instead of pleading and begging, I’ve switched to bargaining, which has not only got results but also given me time to focus on myself.
Today, I’ve decided to share my secret will all moms out there to help them endure children 24x7 in these challenging Covid times.
First, identify your child’s weaknesses, the more the merrier. Second, use it as a bargaining chip for activities such as bathing, eating green veggies, reading/studying, and going to bed on time. Third, in Sadhguru’s words: “Parents should start treating their children as equals.” Enough of bowing down to them, it’s time to rise to their level.
This wisdom on how to get my kid to cooperate did not come overnight. Five years ago, at our routine dinner time at home, my son would throw a tantrum by throwing his vegetables as they were not made according to his taste buds. The not-so-calm me would huff and puff, giving him a piece of my mind. We wouldn’t realise that we would end up creating a scene in front of our extended family, who were not happy spectators. The grandparents were in tears for their innocent grandson and I turned out to be the evil mother.
That night, I came up with a plan: Mission Impossible, methods to communicate with my son. The dossier included a list of my son’s favourite things to do during the day, some of which were watching TV, eating an icecream and being rewarded a star on his chart. On the other side, I made a list of things I wanted from him.
Since that day, I’ve never looked back, exchanging treats for household chores, homework or interaction with adults, you name it and he does it.
His behaviour improved remarkably and his outbursts went down to nil.
The grandparents were pleased as they didn’t have to witness our fights anymore and I was accorded the Mother of the Year Award.
Over the years, his interests have changed and so have my demands. As long as I keep updating my list, I am in a good place. I wish this knowledge helps all mothers who work hard all day to keep their kids happy and the house running. Wishing all moms, a relaxing spa day.
SINCE THAT DAY, I’VE NEVER LOOKED BACK, EXCHANGING TREATS FOR HOUSEHOLD CHORES, HOMEWORK OR INTERACTION WITH ADULTS, YOU NAME IT AND HE DOES IT