Going solo
This Women’s Day, discover the joys of a self-partnered break
Women’s Day is here again. For two-for-one bargains at global retail outlets and make-up vouchers from kindly corporate employers. Free sangrias at brunch and a discount at the weight-loss clinic. If you’re even luckier, your kids will make you cupcakes and your partners will do the cleaning up. But if you’re done with the (gluten-free) cookie-cutter variety of celebration, here’s an out-of-the-box idea – though if the box contains a gleaming jewel of ethical provenance, stay firmly with the box, I say.
A (hotel) room of one’s own
I’m fresh off a week of unadulterated brilliance. And I have only myself to thank. Having spent seven days by myself at a modest hotel in a quiet seaside village, I’m now an evangelist for life. In a culture that values romantic relationships above all others, it’s almost transgressive to confess to the joys of solo leisure time. And yet that’s where the magic often lies; in unfussy alone time, without elaborate planning and endless expectations. No, this is not a defiant PR piece for the joys of singledom – a jilted lover’s virtual revenge. This is a simple idea which somehow never seems to kick-off: spending leisure time by yourself, by choice.
It’s an odd thing, to be extolling the virtues of solo leisure time with a pandemic on. Ideal holidays aren’t exactly the need of the hour. But despite all the anxiety and madness of our era, we’re free to sculpt pretty glasses of leisure into which we can pour the undemanding hours. (Warning: a solo vacation might unleash the inveterate metaphor-maker in you, too.) To wake, sleep, eat, dress and entertain yourself just as you please, irrespective of your relationship status. Radical.
The ordering-for-one challenge
Why, you ask? Because you can make plans with yourself at the last minute, and change them. You won’t mind. You can throw a damp towel on the bed and not notice until it’s time for another shower, without losing the moral high ground with your companion. You can eat flaky croissants in an unmade bed, watching Pretty Woman or Jerry Maguire or As Good As It Gets, while laughing and weeping and inaccurately echoing the dialogue out loud. No one will judge. What’s more, the fan regulator/AC remote is all yours. Freeze or stew, as you please!
You’re free to play Roxette on your tinny phone while reading a book on the disintegration of the Soviet Union without feeling
responsible for anyone else’s holiday time. For when you follow your own pleasure, you’ll find it in the oddest of places. Like the aimless walk that yields the perfect thali lunch. Or the wrong turn that deposits you in front of the mustiest bookshop of second-hand delights. There is no rationing of ocean dips or sunsets; you’re free to take any whim to its conclusion, whenever you feel like it. Yes, the ordering-for-one challenge needs to be mastered. But a doggy bag in a hotel bed is yet another joy that ranks pretty high on the list of solo yuppie pleasures.
THE MAGIC OFTEN LIES IN SOLO LEISURE TIME; IN UNFUSSY ALONE TIME, WITHOUT ELABORATE PLANNING AND ENDLESS EXPECTATIONS
You have arrived at your destination
My intrepid younger sister takes off on a solo road trip every few months, making light of the miles in a bright red car, cheerful music blaring from the speakers, curls sneaking out from under a bandana, her adventure mascot. The national highways are a joy to traverse, as are the spontaneous diversions, she declares. You can take as many chai or loo breaks as you like. Yes, there is a general destination in mind and commonsense safety rules to follow. But you’re buffeted by a great sense of freedom on the road, which is gender-agnostic.
If you, like me, find driving to be an unconquerable obstacle, the road still offers itself to your imagination. I’ve enjoyed solo trips to hill stations and forests, steered by a friendly driver, stopping at dhabas and scenic spots without any hassle. Women do get the odd curious stare when they’re on the road, and it can get lonely from time to time. But it’s time to charge the anti-stare device in your travel toolkit, rev up the spirit and take off for paths known and unknown. Whether it’s an escape into nature, an art pilgrimage or even a visit to the bakery across town, it’s the company that matters.