ABBA KYU NAHIN MAANENGE
Zohaan and Abeer are fraternal twins, and are like chalk and cheese in their behaviour, says the father. “It’s tricky, and you’ve to handle them with a lot of care because they are extremely sensitive. They’re very dramatic actors too and they know how to handle us. They keep doing sketches and suddenly put on a British accent while glued to Ben & Holly.”
Their parents see them as individuals, which is why the boys have hardly ever been dressed identically in their lives. Perhaps, this is because Ayaan and his brother Armaan were polar opposites too. “We were naughty and would prank call musicians and actors,” he laughs.
Adjusting to fatherhood was a little tough, Ayaan says. “The father figure for me is always my Abba (father) and it took me some time to get used to my kids calling me Abba,” he grins. “I’m trying to be a good father.”
He has three roles to play with the twins, father, friend and guru, and says the shift from one to another is organic. “When I’m with them through the day, I’m a certain way,” he explains. “When I tell them, let’s go play, they know they have to be a certain way. Kids are really good listeners and observers, so the shift is very fluid.”
He’s also more open with his kids than his
grandfather was with his father. “No parent comes trained and every member’s equation in a family is different. My father’s equation with his father was more formal because of the age difference. With us, Abba was friendlier and that’s how I’d like to be with my kids. While there is a respect element that I’m happy about, I want to be their go-to person for anything.”
“MY DAD WAS OFTEN CRITICISED WHEN HE CHANGED HIS KURTA BETWEEN SESSIONS. WHY CAN’T VANITY BE PART OF BEING A MUSICIAN?” —AYAAN ALI BANGASH
CHANGING RHYTHMS
Ayaan is in complete awe of how his father, who despite being a traditionalist in his music, has always reinvented himself for changing times. “He was a pioneer in his own way,” he says. “My dad was often criticised when he did things like change his kurta between sessions. Why can’t vanity be part of being a musician? Sometimes when we post something on social media, we attract unkind comments. Also, how does being experimental dilute your gravity as an artiste?”
“MY FATHER RIGHTLY SAYS THAT THE MOTHER IS THE FIRST GURU OF THE CHILD, AND I CAN SEE IT IS WITH NEEMA AND THE BOYS…” —AYAAN ALI BANGASH
Today, he points out, easy accessibility has changed the ball game for those with talent: you could be in any part of the world and find an audience. “For my brother and me, it was a very lonely journey in school, to skip classes to do concerts,” he reminisces.
Both Ayaan and his brother Amaan had acted once upon a time in their careers. “When we were offered an opportunity, we decided to take it up. However, the film didn’t go through for many reasons and we just look back at it as a learning curve. Acting and writing are just extensions of us.”
THE MOTHER FACTOR
Even as we celebrate Father’s Day, Ayaan asserts that fathers are incomplete without mothers. “The role my mother (Subhalakshmi Barua Khan, a noted Bharatanatyam dancer) played in my life is beyond explanation. My father rightly says that the mother is the first guru of the child and I can see it is the same for Neema and the boys. She has been more patient with them than I have in every aspect, especially with music.”
Even at the shoot for this interview, Neema’s influence is unmissable. The kids listen to every instruction she gives them. But as soon as we tell them to wish their dad a Happy Father’s day, the kids jump on to Ayaan together and scream into his ears. It is obvious that their father is their best friend!