Why are (most) men afraid of emojis?
Could it be that these fun expressions display humanity rather than masculinity?
Ihave been online since the age of the network-wala WAP (Wireless Application Protocol) till the dawn of Cardi B-wala WAP (you know it!), and in the two decades between the two, I have never been able to understand: why are (most) men afraid of using emojis, especially with each other?
Gender divide
When I say emojis, I mean literally anything from vague smileys :) to unabashed, unafraid hearts <3, to the top of the PDA pyramid: hugs and kisses XOXO. As a cisgender, heterosexual man, I have had many conversations with other (millennial) men of my kind, across a variety of communication media, from Facebook to Whatsapp to Insta comments and DMs and Twitter chats. And the most I’ve seen—and this too, in the rarest of rare circumstances—is a benign jokester-y :p, from those for whom ‘jk’ doesn’t cut it. And from those who may be 12. (Of course, let’s not get into the indiscriminate thumbs ups of work WhatsApp groups.)
On the other hand, a casual glance through the comment section of anyone who identifies as a woman on the internet demonstrates a dazzle of emojis and even exclamation marks
( !!!! ) of every kind, from people of every kind. From hearts to fire emojis to the smitten eyes (with hearts!), to emojis of queens and superheroes and badasses, there is such an abundance of expression that anyone using the plain old smiley :) actually seems passive aggressive in front of all those YASSSES!!!
It never fails to amuse me that, for straight men to even use exclamations, other men online have to literally change the world but the emojis are showered with abandon when women as much as change their display pictures.
C’mon guys, <3
As a man who loves exclamations (what’s not to love!!), uses a smiley :) to answer texts even from unknown numbers, and is not embarrassed of slaying it with Gen-Z slang publicly online, I find it hard to understand the apprehension of (most) men who are somehow okay with texting ‘c u l8r’ but are too afraid of adding a smiley :) at the end of it. Tbh, most men today seem somehow okay with sending d*ck pics, but are too afraid to send heart emojis <3!!
So I’d like to ask my fellow grown men today: Why are you afraid of emojis, especially with each other? Do you think that using emojis will make us seem less well-read? Or make us seem more vulnerable? Will it make us seem less ‘cool’? Or will it make us seem more expressive? Will it make us seem less ‘manly’? Or god forbid, will it make us seem more human? Because that’s all there is to using emojis: they are a young, friendly, fun way of communicating, but most importantly, they are a way of expressing our humanity that’s waiting to break free underneath the layers of masculinity that we have become conditioned to display.
Dear fellow men, it really is okay to use emojis :) :D :p <3 <3 <3.
Nikhil Taneja is a writer, producer, storyteller, public speaker, feeler of feelings, men's mental health advocate and co-founder of Yuvaa is a fortnightly column that offers a relatable take on mental health and emotional well-being.
I FIND IT HARD TO UNDERSTAND THE APPREHENSION OF (MOST) MEN WHO ARE SOMEHOW OKAY WITH TEXTING ‘C U L8R’ BUT ARE TOO AFRAID OF ADDING A SMILEY :) AT THE END OF IT
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It will next appear on July 16, 2022.