Hindustan Times - Brunch

The dying art of the pep talk

How to deliver one in dystopian times without sounding patronisin­g or fake?

- REHANA MUNIR rehanamuni­r@gmail.com Follow @rehana_munir on Twitter and Instagram

Picture this. You’re having one of those Mumbai monsoon days that Delhi people love using as ammunition in the intercity wars. You try leaving home at 7am, but your car-hailing app was about as effectual as pineapple on pizza. Several rejections later, when you finally arrive, your belatedly benevolent boss says it’s a work-from-home day. You get back home to a leaking roof, and try to log on to a Zoom call while trying to assess the destructio­n your cat has wreaked in the cupboard you left open. Bills are overdue, unwelcome guests are soon arriving and your lover is emotionall­y absent. You call a trusted friend for a pick-me-up. She begins by saying: “Don’t sweat the small stuff. We’re all going to die anyway.”

“I’m drowning here and you’re describing the water”

Ok, I’m that lousy friend. But can you blame me? We’re in the modern era’s dark ages, with people willingly voting evil clowns to power, pandemics and reality shows running wild—and let’s not start about the climate. So, if a day begins and ends without any catastroph­e, just minor disasters, it’s a small triumph. This is not, however, the right attitude in a motivation­al speaker, I’ve learned the hard way. Dispirited people do not usually want a list of global tragedies narrowly averted when they’re telling you about an obstinate child or ruined presentati­on. They’re looking for some old-fashioned comfort. But how does one provide it in an increasing­ly dystopian world without sounding either patronisin­g or fake?

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Halfway through As Good As It Gets (1997), the obsessive, curmudgeon­ly author played by Jack Nicholson, recently dumped, seeks out his convalesci­ng neighbour, played by Greg Kinnear. Unimpresse­d by Kinnear’s words of encouragem­ent, Nicholson erupts: “Look, you—I’m very intelligen­t. If you’re gonna give me hope, you gotta do better than you’re doing. If you can’t be at least mildy interestin­g, then shut the hell up! I’m drowning here and you’re describing the water.”

Bumper sticker MBAs

So, does anyone ever feel uplifted by hopeful talk when they’re down in the dumps or looking for direction? I wish I could channel the clarity and the power of SRK’s ‘sirf sattar minute’ speech in Chak De! India (2007), where his hockey coach ignites the fire of ambition in his team at a critical juncture. But sports, as we all know, is a space where the most exaggerate­d emotions are dignified and even saluted. Every athlete needs to be inspired by a relentless coach, pushing her forward to achieve unlikely feats. But if those inspiratio­nal quotes were to be used in real-life situations, their success would be in contention.

Just do it. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. A winner doesn’t quit; a quitter doesn’t win. There is no “I” in “Team.” Bumper sticker wisdom abounds in sport. But step away from the playing area and these shining exhortatio­ns lose their sheen. They turn, instead, into MBA babble—a trite inventory for PPTs for AMGs which must be submitted by EOD to the HOD. OMG!

ANYONE WHO’S PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO THE WORLD KNOWS THAT DARK HUMOUR AND STRATEGICA­LLY EMPLOYED STOICISM HELP US ENDURE CRISES

Comic-strip therapy

There must be some way to strike the right balance. To say the thing that the pep-talk seeker most needs to hear, but which doesn’t embarrass the speech-giver with its laughable implausibi­lity. What’s clear is that advice is rarely sought by humans in general; what’s most often required is an attentive listening voice, sympatheti­c nods of the right frequency and amplitude and an appropriat­e beverage at the right temperatur­e. The ‘talk’ part of ‘pep talk’ is overrated. Anyone who’s paying any attention to the world knows that dark humour and strategica­lly employed stoicism help us endure crises, even as a slew of therapies involving everything from crystals to goblins gets all the good press.

The best replacemen­t for an uplifting speech these days is a comic strip. With religious leaders, politician­s and other figurehead­s the world previously turned to in difficult times going rogue, we still have the wry understand­ing of cartoonist­s. From Poorly Drawn Lines and The Awkward Yeti to The New Yorker Cartoons and Dino Comics, we have Insta access to a range of artists who know what it’s like to live, love and lose in these uncertain times. And I’ll take uneasy laughter over pious platitudes any day.

 ?? ?? DON’T WORRY, YOU GOT THIS
Everyone needs a pep talk every now and again but finding the spirit to be optimistic about life is another matter
DON’T WORRY, YOU GOT THIS Everyone needs a pep talk every now and again but finding the spirit to be optimistic about life is another matter

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