Selecting a fauji bride through ‘BQR’ model
THE ‘BRIDE QUALITATIVE REQUIREMENT’ WAS THROWN OUT OF THE WINDOW AND SELECTION WAS DONE. THE LOGIC: IF GIRL’S MOTHER IS SO DIGNIFIED, SHE WILL ALSO HAVE THE SAME DNA
Army procurement process for warlike and nonwarlike inventory revolves around a term GSQR (general staff qualitative requirement). Procurement goes through a stiff process of trials in all type of terrain, within the laid down guidelines of the GSQR which encompasses issues of price, transfer of technology, back up support and enhancing the war winning potential.
Similarly, there is another term QR (qualitative requirement), which means “right man for the right job”.
In 1983, my brother-in-law was the most eligible bachelor looking around eagerly for a beauty, to be the “fauji bride”. There was nothing like a site Shaadi.com and one generally scanned matrimonial columns of newspapers for finding the “queen of heart”.
Suddenly, a term struck me — BQR (bride qualitative requirement) — mainly derived from a combination of GSQR and QR. A consensus was arrived on the BQR as appended below.
She should be three or four years younger than the “man”.
Must be five feet three inches or more in the socks. Prepare to live in remote areas with temperature varying from 45°C (deserts) to –35°C (high altitude areas). Ready to move every two years on permanent posting. Has the capability to convert even tentage accommodation into a home.
Ability to live in a “fixed salary profile”.
Be ready to live in a “separated family accommodation” when the husband moves to the field area.
Two educated girls from Delhi were shortlisted, from Lady Shri Ram College and Miranda House. With date and time fixed, the “holy journey” to select the bride commenced from Jalandhar to Delhi. En route, the BQR was further refined saying that the girl should also be dutiful, respectful and should have the “right sanskars”. Mom, dad and the young man by now were wellversed with the core issues as given in the BQR.
My dashing brother-in-law was advised to spell out the BQR in an appropriate, tactful and civilised manner, without being offensive or pro-active to the girl. And once he was through with his choice, he was to indicate to the parents that they could now go ahead for serious business of fixing the date, venue and other modalities of the wedding ceremony. The indication was to be done by holding the right moustache with left hand for 15 seconds meaning that celebrations could now commence.
But the drama unfolded sooner than later in the very first stop of selection venue of the girl from Lady Shri Ram College. Girl’s brothers and father escorted the selection team to the drawing room. Everybody was waiting for the prospective bride to be making the entry next. But it was the girl’s mother who made a grand entry.
The BQR designed over a period was thrown out of the window as my brother-in-law was holding both his moustaches with his hands — the selection was done. The logic as told to us later was that if the girl’s mother is so dignified, charming and beautiful, the daughter will also have the same DNA and qualities. He was not wrong as the girl proved herself as an “ideal fauji wife”.
Gut power is the virtue of successful army officers which enables them to take “quick decisions”.