Learning the ropes from the CO’S wife
If ever an army wife dreads anything more than her husband’s field posting, it is the commanding officer’s or CO’S wife. To civilians (a word used to address anyone other than army families), she is just another senior most lady, like in all organisations, but to the army, she is the first lady (the word that is used to connote the President’s wife). When I entered this monumental big family, like every other army wife, I too had my own assumptions and presumptions.
After our wedding when my husband and I went to his unit, we dismounted from our car and were asked to mount a welldecorated earthmoving machine or JCB. To our surprise, we were not to sit on the driving seat but in the bucket of the JCB that thankfully had a mattress placed on it, embellished with marigolds. I was taken on a unit ‘darshan’ on this JCB, giving me a panoramic view, with men on drums, singing welcome songs. I was giggling as my husband kept reminding me that I’m a lady and not a school girl anymore. Then we halted for another Bollywood drama. My husband was asked to climb up a water tank, which took a flight of 250 steps, to recreate the Sholay scene of Dharmendra. My Veeru humbly proposed to me in front of 150 men, all chuckling seeing their sahib go on his knees for me.
For some reason, I had always conjectured that the defence forces are atheists. My belief was short-lived when I was shown my way into the prayer hall that bore testimony to the axiom of “God is one”. It was a temple, gurdwara, mosque and church; all under one roof. I was taught since childhood that all paths lead to one God, but that day I saw it in practice.
This was not the end of the events. We gathered in a garden where we performed the Hindu Sanatan ceremonies of marriage as our original ceremonies were Anand Karaj (the Sikh wedding ceremony), my husband being of Sikh faith. Taking vows that ranged from participating in ladies meets to preparing food for my husband’s buddies, all ended with everyone blessing the two of us. The evening unfolded and so did my fears. I encountered the one I flinched from. A lady draped in a simple yet charming saree, in her late thirties, with an angelic smile, introduced herself in the most humble words. She was the CO’S wife.
The first lady gave me the task of preparing tea. But I could find no cook top. The sky fell on me when I was told that I had to light up wood and prepare the tea. Thankfully, my husband came to my rescue and things fell in line. The longest day of my life ended; we were in a tent under the vast sky for the rest of the evening.
The next few days were of constant learning. For me it was a new world, being from a non-army background. With the joy of learning like a child, I kept listening to the CO’S wife and with the patience of a teacher, she kept grooming me. She took me to every function and introduced me to the other ladies with the proud joy of a mother.
My life in the unit ended in 30 days as my husband got his field posting. We were both invited by the CO for a farewell dinner. That day, I learnt the most important lesson for my married life. The CO was showing splendid art pieces at his home with pride signalling that his wife had created them. Our gaze halted at a beautiful painting and my husband asked, “Is this also made by ma’am?” The CO replied in a convincing tone, “It is not made by her but trust me she can make paintings more beautiful than this.”
BEING FROM A NONARMY BACKGROUND, IT WAS A NEW WORLD FOR ME. I KEPT LISTENING TO THE COMMANDING OFFICER’S WIFE