Hurdles on the way to my weight loss journey

Data shows that losing weight is the most popular new year resolution in the world. However, I have arrived at the conclusion that it is just not possible to lose weight, in our country, or more specifically, in the street that I live in, no matter how determined or desperate one is.

Firstly, it is a Herculean task to move myself away from the darned blower. It takes a whole lot of effort to leave the snug quilt and put aside the bowl of peanuts, which magically refill themselves every other hour!

As I cross the refrigerator, it takes all of my might to ignore the ghee-laden aroma of the gajrela (carrot pudding) emanating from inside the kitchen. I mentally replace the picture of the delicious dessert by my recent picture at a social gathering, wearing a suit, threatening to burst at all the wrong places.

“I have to shed some serious amount of kilos for the family function next month,” I tell myself repeatedly, while changing into sneakers. After finally traversing through the hurdles, I begin walking, mentally trying to counter each illgotten calorie by taking vigorous, long strides. The huffing and puffing gets heavier with each stride. Nevertheless, I march on, while Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan croons in my ears.

All of a sudden, the crooning doesn’t sound much like Ustad Sahib. As soon as I pause the music to look around, I freeze in my tracks. Three stray dogs are snarling and dashing towards me. I run for my life and take refuge in the neighbour’s home. Then I manage to quickly call my better half to come and fetch me in the car.

Of course, this episode is followed by peals of laughter and guffaws. Sadly, my long calorie-killing strides are cut short by stray canines of the street despite my dogged determination.

Hence, I have learnt the hard way, that my resolution is largely dependent on two parties - the municipal corporation and the rather amiable neighbour, Sharma aunty. The former cites helplessness in displacing them, and the latter feeds them thrice a day, to ward off the the ill-effects of Rahu and Ketu (malefic planets).

So for now as we are in the second week of January, I’ve decided to go back to munching gachak (peanut candy) in the safe confines of the bedroom. I’d much rather burst through the seams of the suit than burst into tears while being administered anti-rabies shots!

ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE CROONING DOESN’T SOUND MUCH LIKE USTAD SAHIB. AS SOON AS I PAUSE THE MUSIC TO LOOK AROUND, I FREEZE IN MY TRACKS