Irony of craving for the left-handed dhobi salute

When I joined the police in 1983, I was told that while saluting, one doesn’t salute the person, or the officer, but the epaulets, medals and ranks or the stars worn with the uniform. My mentor, RN Vasudeva, a martinet, also said that besides the above, we salute the credentials of the officer. He told me everything about a salute that I was to get in plenty all through my professional career but not about the dhobi (washerman’s) salute, which I began craving for after retirement. More about it at the end.

Well, a strong-headed chief minister of Haryana, though he knew the army protocol, would always take the salute in a funny manner. Whenever he visited my district, where I was the superintendent of police, I had to receive him besides the deputy commissioner. He would, with a wry smirk, look through his heavy specs towards the DC and to answer my salute, he would only let his left hand fly upwards from over his left shoulder as if flitting a mosquito away.

This always made me reflective of ways and gestures of greets and salutes among different people. The Romans and the Nazis were inclined to raise their right hand to hail someone. Navy men bring their hand to the eye level with their palm facing the earth since the palms may be soiled with oil and grease. Indian Army personnel salute with an open palm facing the front, while their Indian Air Force colleagues salute with the palm at 45 degrees. All salutes are with the right hand, also called the weapon hand, to let the saluted officer place trust in you.

I had an adjutant working under me while I was the joint director in the Madhuban Police Academy. He always enlightened me with what the faulting instructors told their colleagues, after a bull-shit session in the orderly room, which was an occasion to give a dressing down to non-performing junior officers. “Sir, while marching out, most of them tell their peers that boss complimented me on my turnout!” the adjutant said.

I’m reminded of a joke. One Major Sahab had a guest who he was showing his unit under command. Whosoever met him on the round, greeted him with a salute, while the Major answered saying it aloud, “Same to you.” Asked why the Major said, ‘same to you’, the officer said, “I know what they utter in near whispers while saluting.”

After retirement, I realised that I’m not getting enough salutes to keep myself happy and gloated. The arrival of Covid-19 worsened the issue to the extent that now, what I crave for is a salute from no one else than the neighbourhood dhobi. On my daily stroll, I make eye contact with the dhobi to let him bow a bit and lift his left hand to greet me. If he misses out, I make sure to take enough rounds before I get the left-handed salute. Well, his lefthanded salute is justified since he’s busy ironing with his right hand. An irony indeed!

HE WOULD LOOK THROUGH HIS HEAVY SPECS TOWARDS THE DC AND TO ANSWER MY SALUTE, HE WOULD ONLY LET HIS LEFT HAND FLY UPWARDS AS IF FLITTING A MOSQUITO AWAY