Keep moving on even if the path is separate

“Is there a midway?” The question by a friend got me thinking. We were discussing how divorce rates have shot up, owing to lack of patience and adjustment. On the other hand, the discussion went on, there are scores of women, and men, who suffer in abusive marriages for fear of societal judgement. So, where is the middle ground?

Middle grounds are found in success stories where couples seek professional help to save their marriage. They are found in parents who support their daughters in seeking divorce from a narcissistic partner. They are found in youngsters who encourage their widower father to remarry. They are found in many other nooks and crannies of society.

Marriage is one of the biggest and most crucial decisions of one’s life. I hate to admit, but acceptance makes the change easier, I’ll admit that I erred. It wrings my heart, when I think of it, but denying will only complicate the matter further. So, as time passed, I realised the error and am seeking separation. Undoubtedly, it’s a sensitive phase, and at times I have to gather all the strength in me (and more) to proceed and keep moving, but I also mean to urge everyone to truly liberate themselves from the shackles of guilt and hopelessness. There are always moments that break a person; but there are also steps that are life changing. It’s with the passage of time that true revelations are made.

It’s usually some sort of negative thought/feeling/action pattern that maintains the growth-curtailing and sabotaging aspect(s) of one’s life. However painful or a bitter experience it might be to look within and contemplate, one must do it. Plus, with time and consistency, the same process becomes uplifting. So, our entire journey is nothing but self-work. “Cultivation of the mind should be the ultimate aim of human existence,” said Dr BR Ambedkar, the architect of our Constitution.

In my experience, it is only through this exercise that one can truly progress. We are bound to make mistakes, even repeat them, but as is said, if you can’t fly, run; if you can’t run, walk; if you can’t walk, crawl; but keep moving forward. Most of the times, there are no standard but customised, unique solutions that will need to be applied.

For instance, when my then sevenyear-old son had questioned us about his father, we wanted it to be as comfortable, yet forward moving and genuine for him as possible. Despite it being an extremely important moment, there are no best answers in such circumstances. But, according to our situation, we let him know that sometimes in the journey of life a particular person has a limited role. That he/she might be on a separate path now, but we have to keep moving ahead, no matter what.

I don’t know what time will bring, but I do know that at present, I must stay with this uncertainty, yet keep moving, even if it’s baby steps. I should be able to face my conscience. I’m my biggest responsibility, for I can’t pour from an empty cup. Further, my only competition is whatever I was yesterday; and even going around in circles won’t be such a bad idea. Vehicles, after all, scale mountains in the same way.

WE’RE BOUND TO MAKE MISTAKES, EVEN REPEAT THEM, BUT THEY SAY IF YOU CAN’T FLY, RUN; IF YOU CAN’T RUN, WALK; IF YOU CAN’T WALK, CRAWL; BUT KEEP MOVING FORWARD