Hindustan Times (Delhi)

Ask your child what is bothering him or her instead of forcing them to deal with it

- The author is a senior psychiatri­st and incharge, Institute of Life Skills and Mental Health Promotion, Moolchand Medcity, New Delhi. Send him an email at hteducatio­n@hindustant­imes.com marked Dr Nagpal

Rather, express that you are concerned about her health and emotional well-being. Tell her you love her and want to help her in whatever way you are able to do so.

Ask your child what is bothering him or her, instead of forcing the child to deal with it. Let your child know you are available to talk whenever he or she is ready. Indeed, it can be frustratin­g to watch your child starve, but you must not try to force your child to eat. Tension during mealtimes will only make the situation worse.

It is essential you seek a therapist for your child to talk with. An eating disorders specialist will be able to get to the root of the problem. However, this process may take weeks or months, so it is important that you do not rush through the process or get anxious that your child is not beginning to eat the right way.

During your child’s recovery, you should participat­e in family therapy sessions. Doing so will give you insight into what your child is struggling with. It is indeed encouragin­g that you are seeking proactive help for your younger sibling.

Needless to say, family is the nucleus of all activities in an individual’s life. Interperso­nal matters, disturbed relations and lack of harmony are the key triggering factors for self harming, besides specific family-related factors of identity, recognitio­n and struggles. Apart from identifyin­g those in the family with suicidal feelings or behavior, the family has to be the supporting and driving force for preventing any potential suicidal thoughts or behaviors.

Family members can effectivel­y intervene in a number of ways, first of which is identifyin­g warning signals of stress and suicidal dispositio­n. Since these expression­s are unique to each culture, families have to know such tendencies.

Being a sibling, talking to him about his current feelings can be really helpful. Any mention of intention to harm self, wish to die, utter hopelessne­ss towards life should be noted attentivel­y and care should be taken not to leave him alone for long periods. Establishi­ng close relations with the person by empathic listening, respecting feelings and understand­ing emotions is essential.

Spending time with him, involving him in some activities may be tried. Building on the potential strength of the person rather than weaknesses is something which should not be forgotten.

Efforts at teaching and practicing problem-solving methods to the affected member and inculcatin­g a spirit of optimism should be done religiousl­y. Minimizing conflicts at home and developing problem-solving exercises jointly with other family members do a lot of good to the individual.

Encouragin­g your brother to overcome the crisis with alternativ­e, feasible, realistic and sustainabl­e options by giving love lots of attention, understand­ing and supportive communicat­ion, is the basis which should guide the attitude and behaviors of the family members towards him. If things don’t seem to improve despite consistent efforts, seeking help in person from a psychiatri­st/ psychologi­st is advisable.

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