‘In adversity, mother symbol of resilience’
In a heartfelt blog post,
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Mother – is not just any other word in the dictionary. It encompasses a whole range of emotions – love, patience, trust, and a lot more. Across the world, irrespective of country or region, children have a special affection for their mothers. A mother not only gives birth to her children, but also shapes their mind, their personality, and their self-confidence. And while doing so, mothers selflessly sacrifice their own personal needs and aspirations.
Today, I feel extremely happy and fortunate to share that my mother Smt. Heeraba is entering her hundredth year. This is going to be her birth centenary year. If my father had been alive, he too would have celebrated his 100th birthday last week. 2022 is a special year as my mother’s centenary year is starting, and my father would have completed his.
Just last week, my nephew shared a few videos of Mother from Gandhinagar. A few youngsters from the society had come home, my father’s photograph was kept on a chair, there was a kirtan, and Mother was immersed in singing bhajans while playing the manjeera. She is still the same - age may have taken a toll physically, but she is as mentally alert as ever.
Earlier, there was no custom of celebrating birthdays in our family. However, children from the younger generations planted 100 trees to remember my father on his birthday.
I have no doubt that everything good in my life, and all that is good in my character, can be attributed to my parents. Today, as I sit in Delhi, I am filled with memories from the past.
In Vadnagar, our family used to stay in a tiny house which did not even have a window, let alone a luxury like a toilet or a bathroom. We used to call this oneroom tenement with mud walls and clay tiles for a roof, our home. And all of us my parents, my siblings and I, stayed in it.
My father made a machaan from bamboo sticks and wooden planks to make it easier for Mother to cook food. This structure was our kitchen. Mother used to climb on the machaan to cook, and the entire family would sit on it and eat together.
Usually, scarcity leads to stress. However, my parents never let the anxiety from the daily struggles overwhelm the family atmosphere. Both my parents carefully divided their responsibilities and fulfilled them.
Like clockwork, my father used to leave for work at four in the morning. His footsteps would tell the neighbours that it is 4 AM and Damodar Kaka is leaving for work. Another daily ritual was to pray at the local temple before opening his little tea shop.
Mother was equally punctual. She would also wake up with my father, and finish many chores in the morning itself. From grinding grains to sifting rice and daal, Mother had no help. While working she would hum her favourite bhajans and hymns. She loved a popular bhajan by Narsi Mehta Ji - ‘Jalkamal chhadi jane bala, swami amaro jagse’. She also liked the lullaby, ‘Shivaji nu halardu’.
Mother never expected us, children, to leave our studies and assist her with the household chores. She never even asked us for help. However, looking at her work so hard, we considered helping her our foremost duty. I used to really enjoy swimming in the local pond. So, I used to take all the dirty clothes from home and wash them at the pond. The washing of clothes and my play, both used to get done together.
Mother used to wash utensils at a few houses to help meet the household expenses. She would also take out time to spin the charkha to supplement our meagre income. She would do everything from peeling cotton to spinning yarn. Even in this back-breaking work, her prime concern was ensuring that the cotton thorns don’t prick us.
Mother avoided depending on others or requesting others to do her work. Monsoons would bring their own troubles for our mud house. However, Mother ensured that we faced minimum discomfort. In the searing heat of June, she would clamber over the roof of our mud house and repair the tiles. However, despite her valiant efforts, our house was too old to withstand the onslaught of the rains.
During the rains, our roof would leak, and the house would flood. Mother would place buckets and utensils below the leaks to collect the rainwater. Even in this adverse situation, Mother would be a symbol of resilience. You will be surprised to know that she’d use this water for the next few days. What better example than this of water conservation!
Mother would find happiness in other people’s joys. Our house may have been small, but she was extremely largehearted. A close friend of my father used to stay in a nearby village. After his untimely death, my father brought his friend’s son, Abbas, to our home. He stayed with us and completed his studies. Mother was as affectionate and caring towards Abbas just like she did for all of us siblings. Every year on Eid, she used to prepare his favourite dishes. On festivals, it was commonplace for neighbourhood kids to come to our house and enjoy Mother’s special preparations.
Today, many years later, whenever people ask her if she is proud that her son has become the country’s Prime Minister, Mother gives an extremely deep response. She says, “I am as proud as you are. Nothing is mine. I am a mere instrument in the plans of God.”
You might have noticed that Mother never accompanies me for any government or public programme. She has accompanied me on only two occasions in the past. Once, it was at a public function in Ahmedabad when she applied tilak on my forehead after I had returned from Srinagar where I had hoisted the national flag at Lal Chowk completing the Ekta Yatra.
That was an extremely emotional moment for Mother because a few people had died in a terror attack in Phagwara at the time of the Ekta Yatra. She became extremely worried at that time. Two people then called to check on me. One was Shraddhey Pramukh Swami of Akshardham Temple, and the second was Mother. Her relief was palpable.
The second instance is when I first took oath as Gujarat’s Chief Minister in 2001. The oath-taking ceremony held two decades ago was the last public event that Mother attended with me. Since then, she has never accompanied me to a single public event.
Once I left home, her blessings were the only constant that remained with me irrespective of where I was and how I was. Mother always speaks with me in Gujarati. In Gujarati, ‘tu’ is used to say ‘you’ to those who are younger or equal. If we wish to say ‘you’ to someone older or senior, we say ‘tamé’. As a child, Mother would always address me as ‘tu’. However, once I left home and embarked on a new path, she stopped using ‘tu’. Since then, she has always addressed me with ‘tamé’ or ‘aap’.
Mother has always inspired me to have a strong resolve and focus on garib kalyan. I remember when it was decided that I would be the Chief Minister of Gujarat, I was not present in the state. As soon as I landed there, I went straight to meet Mother. She was extremely ecstatic and inquired if I was going to again stay with her. But she knew my answer! She then told me, “I don’t understand your work in the government, but I just want you to never take a bribe.”
After moving to Delhi, my meetings with her are even fewer than before. Sometimes when I visit Gandhinagar, I call on her for a short while. I don’t get to meet her as often as I used to earlier. However, I have never felt any discontent from Mother over my absence. Her love and affection remain the same; her blessings remain the same. Mother often asks me “Are you happy in Delhi? Do you like it?” She keeps assuring me that I should not worry about her and lose focus on the larger responsibilities. Whenever I speak to her on the phone, she says “Never do anything wrong or anything bad with anyone and keep working for the poor.”
If I look back at my parents’ lives, their honesty and self-respect have been their biggest qualities. Despite struggling with poverty and its accompanying challenges, my parents never left the path of honesty or compromised on their self-respect. They had only one mantra to overcome any challenge - hard work, constant hard work!
In his life, my father never became a burden on anyone. Mother too tries to ensure that - she does her own chores as much as possible.
Today, whenever I meet Mother, she always tells me “I don’t want to be served by anyone, I want to go with all my limbs working.”
In my Mother’s life story, I see the penance, sacrifice, and contribution of India’s matrushakti. Whenever I look at Mother and crores of women like her, I find there is nothing that is unachievable for Indian women.
Far beyond every tale of deprivation, is the glorious story of a mother,
Far above every struggle, is the strong resolve of a mother.
Ma, a very happy birthday to you. Best wishes as you start your birth centenary year.
I have never been able to muster the courage to write at length publicly about your life until now.
I pray to the Almighty for your health and wellbeing, and your blessings on all of us.
I bow at your feet.
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