‘If you don’t love him, there’s no point in going on, but do a slow bail out’

I am 30, and happily married. Whenever I go to malls, shopping centres or any public places, women stand very close to me try to touch me. Even good looking women from rich families have done it. What is their intention and is ignoring them enough to avoid them?

Confused Soul

You are, Mr.Confused Soul, either one of the two luckiest guys in the world, or actually the luckiest guy in the world. So firstly, congratulations are in order. Well done! Women, obviously are drawn to your pure, raw, animal magnetism. We see similar behaviour amongst hippopotamuses. Not that I’m calling you a hippo. And not that being a hippo is a bad thing. However, the most desired hippo male is constantly caressed by all females of all ages and shapes and sizes. (Yes even hippos have different shapes and sizes, read the labels on their backs if you don’t believe me.) You have two options, enjoy the attention, or constantly tell them to leave you alone. You can’t help your sexiness. It’s not your fault, that you’re Adonis himself.

I had a crush on a girl from my coaching class. Now, my coaching term has ended and she is dating someone else. I can’t forget her. Please help.

HG

This, HG, is my biggest grouse with coaching classes. This, and the fact that there are fans placed too high. Which results in the air never reaching you while you are sitting in class. My grouse is while they try to teach you about the subject, they forget to teach you about life. The Eskimo King, ‘EGrook the Reverse’, actually came up with a revamped look at education, He insisted on life’s teaching only. Things like, “if you stand in a boiling cauldron for more than 30 seconds it may hurt”. In your tuition class, they forget to inform you about the importance of timing. Instead of wasting time on education, you should have pursued the girl. Now she has gone, and so has the class. You have 3 choices. (a) Join another coaching class, (b) Find another girl, and (c) Call her up, and try your luck. I personally feel you’ve missed the boat, so sign up somewhere else and move on. I have been dating a guy for the last four years. Now, he has failed in his exams, my parents have got to know about our relationship and I don’t love him anymore. He loves me a lot. How do I get out of this mess?

SG

Oops, what a time for you to bail out. SG, his world is crumbling, he’s failed his exams, if you leave him right now, it could be almost as painful as removing a hernia without being anaesthetised. Which, I’m sure is an option he’d prefer if you offered it to him. Yet, if you don’t love him, there’s no point in going on. But it’s a delicate time for him, so I think you do a slow bail out. Help him regain his composure, before you cruelly pull the rug from under his feet. When you feel his confidence is back, you can hand in your resignation. Of course, that will shatter his confidence again, but the only other option is to wait 20 years and pretend to love him. I’ve tried that, and it’s exactly like the above mentioned Hernia thing.

I like my best friend. I think he likes me too. He has been avoiding me for some time. But, whenever we come face to face, he makes eye contact with me. Now, I am confused whether he really likes me. How can I clear my confusion?

Confused

When he makes eye contact, does he also poke you in the nose? Does he break into a Rajasthani folk sing? Does he make bird mating sounds? Just eye contact is a good thing, but it’s not the only thing, Confusedji. Eye contact + avoidance, is an equation that is normally associated with love. It’s called ‘ambivalence’. Don’t clear the confusion. Let the confusion grow. Paradoxically, confusion grows to clarity these days. There is interest, why accelerate and cause trouble. Let the river flow as it will. Improve the quality of your communication and connection, and all else will naturally follow.