Hindustan Times (Gurugram) - Hindustan Times (Gurugram) - City
Say no to guilt trips
Experts share steps how to get out of guilt trips induced by your partner
No matter how juvenile or irritating they are, guilt trips are a reality in relationships today. Defined as a situation where one of the partners try to induce the feeling of guilt in the other for the purpose of manipulation, even the most romantic couples are susceptible to them. In an argument, one of the partners is quick to give in to the feeling of guilt to please the other to avoid upsetting the balance of the relationship. So, if you find yourself in this situation, experts are there to help you. Manish Jain, psychiatrist and Shivani Misri Sadhoo, relationship expert share their views.
RECOGNISING THEM
Partners who guilt trip tend to exaggerate a particular situation and present their point of view only. They cleverly make ‘always’ or ‘never’ statements and accuse you of intentionally not being caring. At times, they are even sarcastic. Some of the guilt trip statements are “you never think about other’s opinion” or “it’s always about you, not me”.
THE ULTIMATUM
You need to have an honest conversation with your partner and give them an ultimatum. If they value the relationship, they can’t continue with this kind of manipulative behaviour. Doing so will only lead to resentment between partners and can even lead to a break-up.
THE WAY FORWARD
Once your partner understands the severity of the situation, you can explain to them that they don’t require to guilt trip you into doing things. In fact, they can directly ask you to do something they approve of. In this case, if you decide to respond to their wishes, you would do it wholeheartedly without any resentment. Be kind towards your partner while having this conversation. Motivate them to get out of this pattern of behaviour and be patient.
CALLING OUT THE GUILT TRIPPERS
The first step is to politely tell your partner that you are aware of the importance of task that they are trying to guilt you into doing. Then tell them that there is no need to make you feel guilty, which may only lead to resentment, even though, at the end, you will comply to their wishes.