When cavalier Pyare came to the rescue
Innovative orders by the powers that be in Chandigarh, impacting public domain at large, deserve both a hearty laugh and a feeling of disbelief. The initial order which later got tweaked is interesting. “Ladies and gentlemen, thou shall drink in limit and thy shall monitor the limit”. This order comes after the much-awaited reopening of liquor bars in the city.
The out-of-the-box diktat reminded me of the days immediately after I got commissioned and joined my regiment. The notice board at the officers’ mess read: ‘Officers are requested to adhere to the monthly monetary limit for liquor consumption in the mess bar as under ….’ and at the bottom was the specified limit for second lieutenants. It was ₹75. Well, during the early eighties this was a princely amount. A bottle of rum cost ₹10. But alas, serving of rum was prohibited in most of the officers’ mess bars of the cavalry regiments. Gentlemen, rum is meant for horses. How can the one who rides them savour a similar drink!” was the cavalry lore. Whisky was costlier. Drink we must and thus the situation was piquant.
Pyare Ram, our bar man, was a veteran. His smiling, relaxed but business like gait spelt years of experience of dealing with cavalry officers of all hues. He observed this young subaltern (myself) intently going through the unpleasant notice. One of the first briefings by Lieutenant Sidhu, the senior subaltern was about Pyare. “Avnish, is it what you call yourself?” I nodded “Well, a lot of people will try and guide you towards an adept armoured corps officer. Your priority should be Pyare, me and then the rest, in that order.”
Pyare was married to his job. “Jai Hind saab. Aakhri Risale mein aapka abhinandan hai. Kya drink lagaun?(Welcome, what drink should I serve?)”
Weighing dual compulsions of no rum and the tight liquor limit, I replied sheepishly, “Pyare, koi bhi soft drink de do (Any soft drink will do).”
He smiled seemingly a rehearsed one and blatantly ignoring my reluctant choice of drink, poured a Patiala and slid the broad-based whisky tumbler with the regimental crest towards me. Sidhu’s instructions fresh in mind, I took the glass in my hand and unquestioningly complied with Pyare’s call for a bottom’s up preceded with the regimental war cry. The second, third and subsequent drinks and the 20-year-old Cavalier’s journey back to the bachelor quarters was on all fours and a possible exhaustion of liquor limit the next day. I was aghast and sought Sidhu’s advice. “Hold on, Pyare is all set to guide you like he did for all of us over the years,” he said.
It was my third day as an officer and I was told by the adjutant (the administrative and discipline in-charge) that I was already late in the mandatory ‘calling on’ on the Tiger (the commanding officer or CO) and the latter does not take such misdemeanors lightly. “Look, it is 20 minutes and two drinks. The CO would insist on the third since it is an opportunity for him to have a tot in the face of a strict wife but you shall decline and beg leave,” were the adjutant’s explicit instructions. Pyare knew the evening itinerary and thus armed with his brief, I landed up dot at 8 at the Risala House, greeted with grace by the lady and the usual stiff welcome by the Tiger. “So, what’s your poison, son?” he asked my choice of drink. “Thank you sir, I don’t drink.”
The CO was obviously aware of my exploits at the bar since my arrival in the unit. “Since when, son?” he mocked. “Sir, starting today. I have run out of my liquor limit and thus decided to give up drinking and turn a teetotaler instead.” The CO was aghast at this un-officer and more so a non-cavalier stance by a youngster. “Don’t worry son, the liquor limit for you is hereby waived. Cheers”.
Pyare, thus added another loyal friend in his vast kitty of fans.
PYARE RAM, OUR BAR MAN, WAS A VETERAN. HIS SMILING, RELAXED BUT BUSINESS LIKE GAIT SPELT YEARS OF EXPERIENCE OF DEALING WITH CAVALRY OFFICERS OF ALL HUES.