How resolutions get made and unmade
Resolutions are meant to be broken. That is certain.
Newspapers and magazines start mouthing heavy dialogue about self-realisation goals, renewal of hope, forgiveness, Zen and the art of keeping temptations at bay in the breathless countdown to the days before the New Year. We are made to feel inadequate and lacking if we haven’t already drawn a list of wishes to improve ourselves, throw out negative Feng Shui, adopt a pet or join a charity. Popular actors and artists appear with irritating regularity on TV, advising us to shun fake friends, search for our inner self or ‘Ikigai or reason for being’ (in Japanese) and turn over a new leaf in the coming New Year.
Besides these and other much glossed over lists of fresh attempts at weight loss, healthier lifestyle, reading more books and watching less TV and meditation, there are a few situations I need to address and hopefully find a solution to, in 2018.
Therefore, I am going to make a serious and sincere effort to control myself from indulging in the following:
This year onward, I have decided not to do any more back seat driving.
Pressing my foot on an imaginary brake, craning my neck past the driver’s to get a better view of the oncoming traffic, betting silently under my breath on the odds of his safely overtaking that monster bus speeding mindlessly ahead, digging my toes in and squealing in apprehension at what I unmistakably feel was a close shave, have all taken a toll on my nerves.
Besides being a regular irritant to the unfortunate driver, my husband is clearly at the end of his tether at my barely concealed yelps, audible sighs of relief on safe passage of a looming crisis and constant instructions.
I will also refrain from giving any advice to my kids, since I mostly receive an immediate look of reproach, sometimes a bit of feigned interest and maybe a masked show of a patient hearing to humour me and then my counsel is usually ignored. I will also make a conscious effort not to repeat myself to them because, inexplicably and unreasonably, it gets their hackles up!
I will not panic when a dog approaches me because as we all know, ‘A dog is man’s best friend’. I will try and remember that canines are generally friendly animals and mean no harm. The knowledge that they can smell fear instantly shall hold me in good stead so I can keep calm, murmur some reassuringwords(mostlytomyself), hold my ground and not be in flight mode with the dog at my heels!
Since resolutions are meant to be broken, I can solemnly say that though I mean well I cannot promise that I mean what I say!
So from now on, the family will be taking frequent journeys by train, the children, unable to take my moping and sulking any longer will be forced to rally around and I plan to adopt a dog soon.
THIS YEAR ONWARD, I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO DO ANY MORE BACK SEAT DRIVING. I WILL ALSO REFRAIN FROM GIVING ANY ADVICE TO MY KIDS