How the power of praise paves the way
In our society today, there is lack of praise but abundance of flattery and sycophancy which are used for personal gains, professional advancement, social climbing and political ascendancy. Praise originates from genuine appreciation; flattery comes from selfinterest. Praise is a blessing which ennobles the giver and encourages the recipient. It lubricates the social machinery and develops harmonious human relationships.
All persons crave for praise but the young need it more than the old. Parents who fail to praise the achievements and good conduct of their children but criticise them for their faults and even threaten to punish them for their failures and unbecoming conduct scar their psyche permanently. Such children develop an inferiority complex and feeling of guilt. Later in life they may become hostile to their parents. Generally, a child tries to win the approval and administration of his parents but when his best efforts fail to bring these he becomes diffident and disheartened. He may become a defeatist for life.
Similarly, teachers who punish their students for poor performance but do not praise them for their good performance, show ignorance of the rule that punishment is ineffective in curbing bad behaviour and cannot improve academic performance, whereas reward and praise can produce the desired results. A good teacher tries to discover the quality and the skill in which a student can excel and helps him by encouragement and appreciation to succeed in it.
I would like to share some examples from my personal experience. In 1950, it was the last date for me to send my application for the National Defence Academy (NDA) exam. When my turn came, the postal clerk looked at his watch and told me curtly, “Sorry, it is time for the post office to close. Come tomorrow.” I said, “You have a beautiful watch, it must be very expensive.” He told me it was a gift from his brother-in-law, who lived in the UK. He went on talking for 15 minutes about the favours his generous brotherin-law had done to him. I listened patiently. Then he said, “Give your letter, I’ll register it right now so that you don’t miss your classes tomorrow.” One word of appreciation made me take the exam that year.
In 1959, I was doing M Ed at Vidya Bhawan, Udaipur. In the B.Ed course, there was a girl among a bunch of bright and beautiful girls. She appeared to be always sad. One evening, when we were sitting in the library I asked her what book she was reading. She showed me a book on educational psychology. I said, “You have such artistic fingers, do you paint?” My honest compliment brightened her face. I noticed my chance remark transformed her personality. She started paying more attention to her appearance and studies. I found she was a sensitive, sensible, self-respecting person.
Dr Mohinder Singh Randhawa got professor Puran Singh’s books (first published in English in the 1920s) reprinted by Punjabi University, Patiala. He sent ‘The Spirit of Oriental Poetry’ to me for proof-reading. I admired the content and style of the book. I said, “Sir, I have read your book on Kangra paintings co-authored with ambassador Galbraith. I have not come across books written in a better style. I feel scientists write briefly and clearly even on art and literature, whereas many litterateurs confuse the reader. Dr Randhawa was happy with my compliment and said, “You seem to have the ability to recognise and appreciate good style.” By the way, professor Puran Singh was a chemist and Dr Randhawa a botanist, but both wrote excellent English prose. Dr Randhawa had topped in the essay paper in the Indian Civil Service exam.
Praise costs nothing but produces wonderful results.
PRAISE ORIGINATES FROM GENUINE APPRECIATION; FLATTERY COMES FROM SELFINTEREST. PRAISE IS A BLESSING WHICH ENNOBLES THE GIVER AND ENCOURAGES THE RECIPIENT