When I wished Facebook were not here
IT ALLOWS FRIENDSHIPS TO BE MADE, BROKEN, REVIVED AND BROKEN AGAIN, WITH UNFRIEND OR BLOCK OPTIONS, A VANITY FAIR THAT IT IS
Facebook is a virtual world and a microcosm in itself. It has its own dynamics to get more and more people in its fold. It makes you connect with people in so many different ways. With some you connect naturally; some you search for, some search for you; and within a short time you find that you’ve created a microcosm, a virtual world for yourself.
Facebook has its reverse dynamics as well. It allows friendships to be made, broken, revived and broken again, with ‘unfriend’ or ‘block’ options, a Vanity Fair that it is. But with family, friends, and relatives; children’s friends and friends’ children; colleagues and friends of friends all around, you feel yourself to be at the centre of hectic, reciprocal activities.
You get connected with people with whom you share some common interests be it writing, music, films, art, fashion, wit and humour. This includes people you have never met or even seen in your real life. I’m connected with a number of spirited writers whose articles regularly appear in these columns; and some others who are creating beautiful poetry that is published in magazines and journals. I have a number of former students on my friends list and it’s so heartening to see these youngsters doing so well in their lives. Sometimes Facebook throws up surprises. A few days ago, I met a university professor from Thiruvananthapuram at an academic event, who told me that long time back she had liked one of my poems on Facebook; and now we met personally by sheer chance and got connected. Incredible! Isn’t it?
But recently an experience that I’ve had, doesn’t fall in any of these categories. I’m closely connected with one of my childhood friends, now in Amritsar, not only on Facebook but otherwise too, and we have been talking about another friend of ours with whom we had lost touch. Our efforts to locate her on Facebook didn’t yield any results. Then I was able to find her husband’s account, with the picture of the couple at the top. She looked charming as ever. We thought of writing him a message, but found he had not visited his page for years. We were disappointed and gave up.
About a week back, this friend from Amritsar called and told me that still searching for the same friend she had found her daughter’s account and while scrolling down her timeline, at one place she found that the daughter had written something about her mother. “What?” I was getting restive with curiosity. “She is no more. She passed away six years ago.”
Her voice seemed to be coming from a far-off distance, leaving a painful echo. I was speechless and didn’t know how to react. Myriad memories came gushing, and trickled down through tears. I was out of station when I got this call; and I wished I could run back home that very moment and take out all those black and white pictures that I have with her; to open my marriage album and see her smiling into the camera. At that time I wished, for the very first time, that Facebook were not there. At least we could have clung on to the delusion of her being there; we would have gone on talking about her in the present tense. I had never thought Facebook would take our search to such a shocking end.
Santosh Goel you are badly missed, and will always be. Stay blessed wherever you are!