Missing the sweet and caring Chinese girl

When my son came back from Singapore after completing his graduation, he did not come only with the degree. There was something else in tow, which he disclosed only to his mom. Why he had to go out in the night at such a late hour after spending a couple of hours at home, was not clear to me. She hesitatingly told me that he did not dare to bring his friend home without our approval. Oh! His girlfriend was lodged in a hotel!

The orthodox Hindu in me flared up. How can he do this to us? I wouldn’t even let him enter. This is not our culture. As I was pacing up and down the room, a childhood friend, who was incidentally with us that day tried to calm me down. His logic was simple, you will lose him. He reminded me of something similar that happened much earlier in my life. I had to yield.

There she was standing in a salwar-kameez, head covered with a stole, removing her shoes at the door.

As the Chinese girl entered, she touched our feet and stood like a criminal before a jury of three persons: Me, my wife and my friend, who asked her to be seated. I was still fuming, but did not want to behave the way my father did with my wife 40 years ago in somewhat similar circumstances. Both of us were insulted and turned out of the house, though we had already married in a gurdwara. I could not bond with my father after that and we virtually lost each other for the rest of our lives.

The inevitable had happened and being in the know of the consequences, I controlled my behaviour towards Chen Mong, aka Cherry. Next morning, she kept a cup of tea beside my bed, touched my feet again and looked from a distance whether or not I had started drinking it. Trying not to seem too harsh, I drank the tea, smiled and finding the tea tasty, said: “Bahut barhiya (Very nice)”.

Things changed in a couple of days, Cherry won us over. She knew English well and had told us all about her family. She was the only child of her parents, who were in business.

The family values in China are like ours in India. In fact,

Asia differs from the rest of the world when it came to preserving family values. Slowly, I was getting prepared to accept her and started treating her as a ‘would-be daughter-in-law’. Friends, when consulted, had diverse opinions. Some said that Chinese items had no guarantee and did not last. One, who had a Chinese daughter-in-law, was much appreciative of her and said that we must accept Cherry into the family fold.

I was confused, but looking towards her behaviour found nothing amiss. Soon, my wife had to get admitted for surgery and I had to be with her in the hospital. The way Cherry held fort at home was commendable. She brought food to the hospital in time. When I asked if there was any difficulty, she would always reply with, “Bo barhiya”, the words she had picked up from me.

Regarding the wedding, she said it could wait as both of them wanted to do post-graduation because later they may have no chance to do it. I don’t know what transpired between them; they had a break-up while studying in Australia. We were shocked. My son would not like to touch this topic and did not tell us what happened.

Years after, with the coronavirus originating in China, I wanted to know about Cherry’s well-being. She was as endearing to us as our own children and had retired to her parents’ home in Hubei province, the epicentre of Covid-19. Her phone goes unanswered, while every time I ring up, I long to listen to the words ‘Bo barhiya’ in her voice.

SHE TOUCHED OUR FEET AND STOOD LIKE A CRIMINAL BEFORE A JURY OF THREE PERSONS: ME, MY WIFE AND MY FRIEND