Win, lose, or draw, never forget that life goes on

For obscure reasons, we are brought up on a paradigm of victory and defeat. Victory is sweet, invigorating and intoxicating, while defeat is bitter and miserable. Is life all about winning and losing? How often do we taste victory in real life? We spend a significant part of our lives neither winning nor losing.

This was the gist of what I discussed with one of my young patients who had come to me after failing to get a good rank in the mock test leading to the much sought after IIT-JEE examination. The youngster was virtually inconsolable. The pressure of parental expectations and the fear of not living up to them were proving to be too much to handle for him. And he’s not alone. With the advent of the season of entrance exams, there is a flood of bright but anxious teenagers coming to seek expert help from mental health professionals like me.

The concept of not winning a battle and yet not losing the war was difficult to communicate until the recent heroics of our cricket team in Australia.

Indeed, one of my patients, who was not a cricket enthusiast, asked me the very next day after our cricketers managed to salvage a historic draw in the recently concluded Sydney Test, “Sir, why exactly were Indians so overjoyed? We just about managed to avoid being defeated.”

This one innocent question, perhaps, sums it all. To avoid being defeated was a brave effort, after all! I had suddenly hit at an idea. How easy it would be to help such hapless youngsters if I took to cricket to convey my thoughts. Quite expectedly, I had an attentive listener.

An inning is built ball by ball. You have to play each ball on merit to build a big score. Similarly, life is built moment by moment. Success comes to the one who spent each of these moments meaningfully.

Does a dropped catch matter? Yes, it does, but the cricketer has to move on. There is no fun fretting and fuming over it. This is true for life as well. I must confess that I managed to bring colour into a life that had turned a drab black and grey thanks to the wonderful lessons that the wonderful game of cricket had brought home.

Life is all about managing many an honourable draw. It is the effort that matters. Winning and losing can, and must be, gleefully be ignored.

THE CONCEPT OF NOT WINNING A BATTLE AND YET NOT LOSING THE WAR WAS DIFFICULT TO COMMUNICATE UNTIL THE RECENT HEROICS OF OUR CRICKET TEAM IN AUSTRALIA