Why only when dead, appreciate living, too

In the newspapers, we often find obituaries and tributes to people who have left for their heavenly abode. Most ofthe time these are emotional pieces, cherishing their memories and bringing to light their good deeds, benevolent nature and beautiful personalities.

Besides features remembering parents, teachers and friends, I’ve read articles on competent administrators, kind doctors, motivating mentors and Good Samaritan police officers, which fondly open to the reader the hitherto hidden layers of the personalities no longer alive. There are sometimes writings about ordinary people who have lived with dignity, grace and simplicity, no mean feat in a materialistic world. These articles make me think that I’ve hardly read notes appreciating the living.

Death is a point of termination of a relationship, a final chapter and hence, it’s quite natural that it invokes in us a desire to look back on the life of that person and appreciate the illuminating aspects of a life well lived, the enrichment they have brought to our own lives. What objective does it achieve, this recollection? Does it in some way help us in overcoming our grief, is it cathartic, a way to express gratitude? Maybe, it is. Maybe for the writer it is a commemoration of the departed spirit, a noble gesture. What purpose does it serve? Have writers told these things to that person when he/she was living? Or have they realised the greatness of the departed soul only after death? Or is it just a formality, speaking good words afterwards?

Why do writers wait until the death of a person to make moving tributes and confessions of gratitude? What stops us from pondering over the beauty of the character during a person’s lifetime? Perhaps, we fear that praising somebody on their face might be mistaken as flattery or misread as sweet talk to get something in return. Perhaps, we are afraid that open adulation may change or corrupt that person. Death brings the assurance of permanence.

Why can’t we openly declare our appreciation for a teacher who selflessly added value to a student’s life; an officer who did not waver from the path of ethical conduct; or an acquaintance who rose to the occasion, when these persons are still living? Such eulogy to the living would definitely pay a warm and positive compliment and start a culture of honest admiration given without any ulterior motive or agenda. It might also bring a smile on the face of that person and warm his/her heart, though they may not be waiting for it. Many a heart has wilted for the want of genuine praise from peers.

Celebrating the goodness of living persons also has a utilitarian aspect. It might inform and allow others to bask in the sunshine of their compassion, spread positivity and firm up the general belief in society about goodness of the human soul.

Let’s not wait for someone to die. If we appreciate them, we have been inspired by them, we have imbibed their values and have somehow been included in their halo. Let’s celebrate these beautiful lives, with our offerings of respect, appreciation, praise and gratitude. Let’s write in the present tense not in the past, for that is only remembrance, but this is life.

LET’S CELEBRATE BEAUTIFUL LIVES WITH OUR OFFERINGS OF RESPECT, APPRECIATION, PRAISE AND GRATITUDE. LET’S WRITE IN THE PRESENT TENSE NOT IN THE PAST