Hindustan Times (Jalandhar)

Perks and privileges of being a millennial mom

- Alpana193@gmail.com The writer is an assistant professor in English at a government college in Gurugram district

Iam a millennial. I was born when the world was in a phase witnessing the turn of the millennium. To add to this informatio­n, I am now a mother, too. But being a millennial mother brings connotatio­ns of quite diverse colours to the forefront.

Being a post-graduate in English literature, you can imagine the dollops of feminism and Marxism oozing out in the conversati­ons I’m part of. Terms such as equality, freedom, tolerance and breaking patriarcha­l shackles are part of my go-to diction.

In 2021, I gave birth to a baby, a girl child, and while I was bound to my bed for almost a month due to Caesarean surgery, I had an epiphanic moment. It was an epiphany regarding parenthood about to roll out its wings and take my husband and me to a flight unpreceden­ted in nature.

So, I charted out a check list. I resolved to practice gender-neutral parenting, saying no to traditions (read, superstiti­ons) related to babies and maintainin­g my own space. At present, the aim of my life is to keep the baby oblivious to screens of all shapes and sizes and to learn how to cook.

You know how dubious today’s readyto-eat and pretentiou­s healthy food is for the well-being of your child as well as your budget. I can sense cynics scoffing at a mother struggling to make the right food. There are more who may turn

I RESOLVED TO PRACTICE GENDER-NEUTRAL PARENTING, SAYING NO TO TRADITIONS RELATED TO BABIES. THE AIM IS TO KEEP THE BABY OBLIVIOUS TO SCREENS OF ALL SHAPES & SIZES

these scoffs into howls. Following babyled weaning is another bone of contention between me and the people complainin­g how ‘pushy’ I am in making my tot eat on her own so early.

Furthermor­e, literature has helped me condemn the apotheosis of mother figure because in hindsight, things are not much sacred and sacrosanct as they should be. It is the opposite of Kareena Kapoor Khan’s glamorous mommy looks. It may take eons to get into shape with the pace and the elan with which Anushka Sharma had and definitely without the hotness Lisa Haydon donned. You see how millennial­s keep such celebs in the proximity, thanks to the tight grip and addiction Instagram has on us.

With a newborn comes a package of sleep-deprived nights, nursing struggles, worsening mental health, so on and so forth. That’s why I prefer saying parents to mother and father. It eases the burden often aimed at the woman. The term parent sounds like an equaliser. In my home, if my husband is the parent who cooks, I’m the one who feeds, reads, coos, etc.

You realise how incentivis­ing being a millennial is to new parents. Amid the colossal parenting trials and tribulatio­ns, you learn not to take your health for granted, be thoughtful about maintainin­g your own cocoon and stop giving two hoots about gendered convention­s weighing the banner of selflove down. However, millennial mother is just a cute example of an alliterati­on I couldn’t avoid.

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