Trust, easiest to lose, hardest to regain
Irecently had to cancel my uncle’s appointment at a physiotherapy centre, for reasons that will become obvious. Endless advertisements in various newspapers, which included pictures and anecdotes of patients claiming to have fully recovered from varying ailments, had encouraged him to set up an appointment.
Just a day before, I came across a picture of a young neighbour in one of the centre’s advertisements, who was quoted saying, “I had several pains in the body including severe back pain. I had gone to several reputed hospitals but this centre cured me. I will be grateful forever…”. It went on, continuing to laud the staff and the centre’s expertise.
But I instantly sensed something dubious as I had often met this neighbour, who never seemed unhealthy and had neither complained about any body aches. He is rather the most sincere jogger in the neighbourhood.
In the same breath, I phoned him, just to confirm, beginning with aren’t you well? “No, I am perfect,” he said in his usual cheer. I continued, failing to control my laughter, asking: “Haven’t you been visiting several hospitals?”. “Oh, so you must have caught the advertisement. I did that for a friend, whose wife runs the centre. They requested me… I am perfectly fine,” he told me amused and maybe slightly embarrassed.
Interestingly, his town of residence had also been changed in the advertisement, of course to reflect that the centre’s patients come from far-off places.
As I discussed with my uncle, we began to doubt all other advertisements being rolled out by the centre. The much-needed trust needed to walk into the four walls of a medical facility had been broken and an air of disloyalty blanketed us.
“Trust is like a vase. Once it is broken, though you can fix it, the vase will never be the same again,” late American painter Walter Anderson had once remarked. Trust also creates hope, something which has to be earned and it can often take time. However, it remains the most essential foundation of any relationship.
Once I agreed to carry in my suitcase a few shirts and trousers for my relatives’ son, who lived in Canada for his higher studies. But his parents kept requesting me to take some of his medicines and a jar of clarified butter along. I said no. “If anyone questions, tell them that the medicines are yours,” they had suggested. The jar will be properly packed, they would add. I wasn’t interested in giving explanations for the medicines at the airport nor did I want to carry the jar, fearing disaster in my suitcase.
Just a few days before my flight, as agreed, they delivered a fully-packed cardboard box, containing the clothes.
During my final packing, as I opened the box to check the contents since it felt heavier than anticipated, there was not only a jar of clarified butter — though very well packed — but also medicines tucked into the pockets of the trousers. Despite my assertive “no” to medicines and the clarified butter, they broke the promise and consequently, my trust.
Enveloped in anger, I phoned the aunt, who failed to find words. I removed what I had to and still carried the shirts and trousers. Will I ever trust them again? What if the jar had leaked during the journey? Imagine having my suitcase checked during a random inspection, common at airports. What about any penalty I may have faced, especially for the dairy product? Thankfully, I had checked what was handed to me.
Sophocles, the late Greek playwright said, “Trust dies but mistrust blooms,” — the precise feeling when trust cracks. Robert Williams, a young American basketball player, also rightly recapitulated, “Trust is the easiest thing in the world to lose and the hardest thing in the world to get back.”
TRUST CREATES HOPE, SOMETHING WHICH HAS TO BE EARNED AND IT CAN OFTEN TAKE TIME; IT REMAINS THE MOST ESSENTIAL FOUNDATION OF ANY RELATIONSHIP