Do you drop your virtues or hold on to them?

She never replies with enthusiasm whenever I greet. Therefore, I would stop greeting her. They never visit us, so why should we visit them? He never calls, I will do the same. She never says sorry and from now on, I will be no different. Her hospitality was so bad, I will offer her similar hospitality when she visits my home. If they can come late to work, why can’t I?

Don’t these dialogues, the way we express ourselves at times, sound so familiar? Shouldn’t our aim be to become the “best version” of ourselves, with advancing time? But it seems most of us fail to achieve this as we have unfortunately programmed ourselves to drop all our good virtues simply because of the behaviour of others. Isn’t that pulling down curtains on our own strengths and adding weaknesses in us? Don’t we lose our essence? What if everyone follows this mindset –imagine the world with that.

It’s the good qualities in us, from always sporting a smile to being helpful and so on, which hold the power to make us stand apart. But many of us choose what makes us fade away. We end up becoming like everyone else, losing what we shouldn’t. Moreover, when we decide to reciprocate someone’s odd behaviour or habit, we instantly lose. On the contrary, by managing to hold on to our virtues, irrespective of how someone deals with us, we continue to remain a winner. That’s how I see, at least ever since I have been practically following spirituality and its many enlightening principles.

I feel we forget that everyone is different and yet we keep expectations: how they should behave, and how they shouldn’t. Can we pause to understand others and their habits, instead of criticising? “Before criticising others, always remember that they may not have got opportunities that you got in your life,” once opined American novelist, F Scott Fitzgerald. Of course, there is logic behind it. According to spirituality, the more we arm ourselves with good qualities and ensure they remain with us, the better we feel as Abraham Lincoln, the 16th US President, known for his spiritual values once said, “When I do good I feel good, when I do bad I feel bad, and that’s my religion.”

I am reminded of a short story titled “Kalo” by Nanak Singh, from my school days. Its chief character, Kalo, inspired us a lot. A street cleaner, always brimful of positivity but whenever she walked past one particular home, the lady there always abused her, but despite that, she never let her calm get disturbed. During one festival day, when Kalo was asking for money or food from homes on the street, she was surprised when the same lady invited her home. Carrying her humbleness, she stepped in, thinking she would give her something. She did get a gift, but it was the ash from the chulha, telling her that this was what she deserved. Kalo still did not lose her peace and left thanking her. This disturbed that lady instead, who had a sleepless night and realised how unkind she had always been. Meeting Kalo, she had tears in her eyes. “Forgive me” was all she could utter. Kalo hugged her, making it an inspiring lesson, which I and surely my classmates would have remembered.

Let’s not forget, our every virtue contributes to making the world a beautiful place. We are free to either inspire others through our virtues or simply give them up, whatever the reason may be. After all, it’s our choice as stated earlier, which will make us either a winner or a loser and accordingly it will make a difference to the world we live in.

IT’S THE GOOD QUALITIES IN US, FROM ALWAYS SPORTING A SMILE TO BEING HELPFUL MAKE US STAND APART, BUT WHEN WE DECIDE TO RECIPROCATE SOMEONE’S ODD BEHAVIOUR, WE INSTANTLY LOSE