Grandpa, we promise to live by your values
It’s been nine lonely and painful days since you left us but it still doesn’t feel real. Today, as we – all of your grandchildren – entered your room together, our hearts sank when the chair you used to sit on, wearing that most radiant smile of yours, stared blank at us. Never again will we hear that warm voice welcoming us with “Aao beta ji ”
Growing up as your kids has been the single-greatest honour and blessing of our lives. You were the umbrella under which we huddled together, completely unaware of the hailstorm called life. Every time we were introduced as “Badal saab de grandchildren”, our young and undeserving eyes met that unmatched love and respect which we knew you had spent a life-time earning. Everyone we met would tell us ‘Badal saab ta saade ne’ – and they were right – yet we couldn’t help feeling like we were the special ones. But we are well aware that every child in Punjab was special and precious to you.
Yet there were some privileges we relished. For example, you getting our favourite dishes prepared before we would come to visit or you checking on our health with motherly compassion. We knew you were always engrossed in tending to people’s problems, but you still made us feel like our “problems” were your own. From exam stress and silly dramas at school to major decisions affecting our lives, you patiently listened and guided us through it all.
A true beacon of humility, kindness However, what made you so special was that you weren’t just a guiding light to us, but to millions of others. Through every conversation, we hoped to grasp a piece of your wisdom so that we too could be more like you. But more than words you taught us how to live through “karam” – noble and selfless action. You would tell us that you had a special duty to perform towards the God’s children as ‘He’ had given you so much without (as you would say) “my deserving it. “Mai ta ina layak ni siga par Gurusabh ne mainu bohot ditta.” Those whom God gives the broad shoulders have a duty to carry the greatest burden too. “Seva karo te fir bhul jo, te agle kamm te datt jao.”
One of the greatest lessons we learnt from you was that one can rise high without pushing others down. “Apnee lakir lambi karo, dujia di chhotee karan di lod nahi ”. But it’s hard to draw a line longer than you drew in punctuality, diligence, discipline and unwavering commitment. We hear a lot about your focus on spreading education especially among girls- in the state, and we know where this comes from. At home, you would always tell us “Jina padh lao unna hi ghatt hai . Top di padhaai karo, phir Punjab di seva vich lag jao.’
Lessons of life
As your grandchildren, we realised that you were defined by what you did and achieved, but even more so by the person you were – a man with indefatigable energy yet infinite humility, warmth and a caring heart, treating everyone with great respect and love, always adding “jee” to everyone you talked to. How touched we were watching you so humbly and so graciously thanking the nurses and other members of the staff in the ICU even though you were battling great pain. If ever you expressed a reservation, it was quickly followed by a ‘sorry beta’
and “thank you, beta”.
“The greatest thing about you was that in your presence everyone felt loved and respected – from a child to the most elderly
As we’re sitting here together, there is flood of memories rushing in front of our eyes – memories of the time spent with you, of watching Netflix in your presence and observing your reactions, of you trying out our new “modern and urban cuisines” despite having an unflinching love for the traditional, home-cooked food. You always had the biggest smile on your face when you could sense the smell ‘of dudh vali ghia’
being cooked in the kitchen. Nor could you resist ‘garam dudh with jalebi’.
How can we overcome memories of our parting with you with the sweetest ‘thank you beta’ from you - as though the privilege of spending time with you was not ours but yours. As we sit here together today, there are some promises we want to make to you. ‘Jo pyar sannu hun mil reha hai oh tuhaadi zindagi bhar di kamai hai, te unu asi saambh laiye taaoh he bohat vade gal hovegi’. You taught us how to spread love and care. And you taught us that the essence of all religions, especially Sikhism, is in humility, sharing and magnanimity. We promise you that we will make these ideals the foundations of our approach to live. Your legendary concern for the poor, the elderly and the disadvantaged will be guiding light for us. We saw you frequently visiting the old age homes and de-addiction centres and giving each inmate your personal attention. You taught us that none of us is ever so busy or so burdened that we cannot find time for the needy and those suffering.
These are high benchmarks for anyone to measure up to. But we will make the most earnest effort to come close to the ideals you turned into goals, and goals into achievement.
But to fulfil all this, we need to be always blessed by the inspiring memory of your benign presence.