Are you getting the signals right... or is it just BS?

A few years back, I had a crush on a girl who was already in a relationship. I got over it and now I feel she has a crush on me. I see some signs. I can’t ask her upfront because she will never acknowledge it. Moreover, she is a really nice person and this might turn her away from me forever. Please help. BS

BS, I hope you are getting the right signs. I hope your signs aren’t BS, BS? Your quandary is similar to BS Chang’s quandary. (Yes his initials were also BS, BS). Chang was in a Japanese concentration camp in the 1920s. He fell in love with female Japanese guard, but as a Chinese prisoner, such a relationship was frowned on. However, Chang noticed the guard kept starring at him. It seemed obvious, that she had a crush. So one day he asked her about it. This resulted in her and four guards thrashing Chang within an inch of his life. She then robbed him of his gold watch, which was what she was staring at in the first place. So please figure out your signs. And what is wrong in just taking it at a normal pace, and trying to just be consistent friend first? This rush to have your love validated is complete BS, BS. I’ve been in a relationship with a girl since a long time. A few months back, she got attracted towards my friend. When I asked her, she lied to me. Though, later, she confessed about it. How do I deal with the situation and pursue my relationship? MKG

MKG, let’s answer your query through a subject in which I’m still taking tuitions, Mathematics. If 16+9=25, then you can’t behave like Kim Jong Un of North Korea, and decide that. Henceforth, 16+9=22, because you feel like that’s a latter answer for you, personally 16+9=25, and that’s that. The girl has given you her answer. Which is she + other guy = Relationship. So I implore you, once again, don’t behave like Kim Jong Un and try and change the equation. It’s her plus him. Simple as that. You can’t guilt her into loving you. 16+9 remains 25. No matter how bad you make 9 feel about the sum.

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year now. He is very nice and sweet. But, now, I am interested in another guy. I think even he is interested in me, despite knowing that I am in a relationship. What should I do? AKG

AKG, remember the one-legged Pirate Captain Denzel Silverado? Don’t worry, nobody does. Silverado robbed and plundered 127 ships in his lifetime. And it all ended when, on crossing from his 126th to his 127th ship, because of his particular physical condition, he fell into the sea and was eaten alive by sharks i.e. the sharks were alive while eating him. Silverado was famous for always changing ships, at the drop of a pirate’s hat. I beg you don’t do the same thing. If you want to switch ships, please find out if that guy is really interested, or you shall end up losing both ships, and will be forced to travel by road again. Sometimes, we all enjoy a little attention, but that doesn’t mean we want to jump ship, Ms AKG.

I was dating my cousin, but we broke off due to studies. He said we will get married in the future. I’m confused whether he will keep his promise. I love him a lot. What should I do? AS

AS, why are you telling me he’s your cousin? Are you feeling guilty? I mean, it doesn’t affect me, unless he’s also my cousin? Which would make you my second cousin. And that would mean we should take this situation offline and deal with it. There are two issues: (a) he’s your cousin, and (b) will he keep his promise? For both cases, you can have him take a blood test. ‘O’ positive blood groups are 44 per cent more likely to keep their promises. But that’s a risk you’ll have to take. The cousin thing? Looks like you both have already got past that, so who am I to tell you what to do? By the way, if it helps, primates and monkey mate with each other in spite of being first cousins, and even closer relatives in some cases. And if it’s good enough for a primate, it’s good enough for me.