‘Fear of parents shouldn’t really be categorised as a fear’

I am 19, and last night when I was sleeping in bed I realised why am I single. So, after some research I found out that I have never let anyone come closer to me. I want to be in a relationship, but I am confused. Please help. AS

AS, lots of our greatest thoughts have come while lying in bed. Decathlete Champion Bruce Jenner, realised he was a woman while lying in bed. His wife realised she was a woman while lying in the same bed, and so obviously flew into a fit of rage and banished Bruce to the living room. Which, AS, is such a stupid term. “Living” room? It’s not like you are dying in the other rooms, is it? Now to your question, your fear of closeness is a woman fear. Just like fear of cockroaches, or fear of communists, I’m an expert with helping people out on cockroaches, but this fear of closeness is best dealt with by forcing yourself into more social contact. You need to go out there and meet people.. Although 95% of them you’ll rightly never want to meet again, only by going out there and meeting people will you give yourself a chance.

I have a crush on my college mate. He showed interest in me by whatsapping me and chatting for hours. Gradually, he lost interest, and now he doesn’t talk to me. I like him and he is always on my mind. My studies are getting affected because of him. I did so much for him. I have given him a few gifts as well. How do I get him out of my life and focus on my studies? GS

So GS, what do you suggest, I suggest? Give him a list of the gifts, you gifted him, and ask for them back, plus a minimum fine of 2 rupees? GS, you yourself said he’s lost interest. Sometimes you just have to allow for it being game over. Easier said than done. But if you know he’s lost interest, that’s 77.5 percent of the battle. 82% in Western cultures.

I am in a relationship with my former office colleague for the past one year. She is 13 years older to me and has a broken marriage. She is mother of a 13 year old daughter. I support her personally and professionally. This is a pure relationship without much involvement of sex. We often fight, but then we patch up because we can’t live without each other. Please suggest. VD

VD, the world renowned dentist Cavitus Vth , was executed by Hadrian’s troops because of his puritanical views. That and because he extracted the wrong tooth. (He was supposed to extract Hadrian’s horse’s tooth and instead took off Hadrian’s tooth). My point is what do you mean, you have a pure relationship devoid of sex. That’s one, two you haven’t got a problem, you are just describing what appears to be a pretty happy life, well supported by lucky no.13. If you are asking whether you should marry her? Well you are asking the wrong person, please ask that of her directly, and my suggestion, if all goes well, marry on the 13th day of the month of your choice.

A guy loves me and wants me to be his girlfriend. I love him as well, but due to the fear of my parents I am unable to approve his proposal. Please help. Sanjeeda

Sanjeeda, when I was young boy, (we’ve talking 17th century or thereabouts), I was afraid of the dark. My dad hit on the novel idea of tying blinds on my eyes in the day to get me more used to darkness. A brilliant strategy. Which resulted in me being scared of the day as well. My problem still persists. What I’m trying to say is parents aren’t always right, and sometimes your parents can be in darkness. Well, it’s one of those points, I think. In life, we must not have regrets. Fear of parents, really shouldn’t be categorised as a fear.