Love thy neighbour? E

As a poll says that people are more likely to have extramarital affairs with people next door, we talk to experts about what spouses can do

xtramarital affairs are a common occurrence these days. There are also dating websites that are dedicated specifically to people who are married. One such site, Gleeden, has come out with a survey, which concluded that when it comes to extramarital relationships, people are more prone to date their neighbours. The survey asked questions to 8,000 people and found out that 62% women fantasised about cheating with one of their neighbours. While 71% men claimed that they had dreamt about a sensual moment with their neighbour. Interestingly, 31% females confessed to actually having an affair with their neighbour. Most of these affairs were one night stands (62%), but the affairs of 14% women lasted for ‘several weeks’. About 6% females’ affair lasted for more than a year.

WORRYING SIGN

So, does this mean you should be worried about your neighbour? Mental health counsellor, Kavita Mungi says that one really can’t do much to prevent infidelity. She says, “If the neighbour is attractive and you feel threatened, it’s best to keep distance. Also, if the spouse is the kind who you feel may stray, then he or she may have an affair no matter what you do. If you fear the likelihood of an affair then it’s best to change residences, though distance might just make the heart fonder. It is better to introspect one’s own relationship issues instead.” She adds, “If domesticity and boredom has killed the spark in your relationship, then do something to light the flame again that brought you together in the first place.”

Also, worrying that your spouse may start having an affair with your neighbour can also ruin a perfectly good bond that you share with your neighbour. Mungi says doubts and conjecture can be extremely detrimental to a successful marriage or partnership. She says, “Once the eye of suspicion makes its presence felt, a simple text, a casual phone call or a random coffee meeting can appear to be clandestine in the spouse’s mind. So, unless there is solid evidence, one should not let doubts rule your mind. In fact, it is best to trust your spouse and be friendly with the neighbour. At the same time one should always keep in mind that keeping neighbours at arm’s length is an option. One has to be there for each other as neighbours but don’t get too close for comfort in certain cases.”

A DIFFERENT BOND

But, it’s not only extramarital affairs that people are prone to having with neighbours. Relationship expert Riddhish Maru says it’s all about closeness. He says, “The moment you step out of the house, your neighbours are the first point of contact. You meet them almost every day, know them well and are close to them. So, at times, all these factors help facilitate affairs.”

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