Decoding the archiving system of the settlers from Venus!

When John Gray told us that ‘women are from Venus, men are from Mars’ he should have been more specific and put in a word or two of caution about the superior brains of the friendly settlers from Venus. Remember the pre arrest warning they show in Hollywood movies- “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law,” something like that, just replace the words “in a court of law” with “at any future date”.

For once, a woman’s brain has a much more advanced archiving system then us Martians. So much so that although they may not remember where they left the car keys a second later, or they may have gone into a kitchen and they won’t remember why and what for? But they seem to have an elephant’s memory when it comes to our goof ups! Everything from forgetting a birthday to the purchases that didn’t work out to when you refused to go out shopping with her because you had to work an early morning the next day and yes not to mention an accidental praise about that other settler from Venus, all that automatically gets stored in an archives folder called “future reference material” which itself runs into well…a few Terabytes, tucked somewhere in the left memory lobe of her brain. However, what you wouldn’t even imagine is that this archives zone of her brain functions like a powerful super computer with highly developed neurotransmitters recalling selective stuff from the above folder replete with prepared research, detailed data, possibly even charts instantaneously and within nano seconds during all subsequent arguments, discussions or what have you. Also, note that all this reference data comes with annotations of exact date, hour, minute, second…not to forget the precise sequence of events as they unfurled in the past which therefore is futile for any man to contest and enough to declare him a Nerd from beyond the earthly horizons in no time. The Archiving System is so fool proof that it won’t miss out anything dumb you ever do, or say or for that matter even think aloud. What’s more, there is also a backup server and it’s called mother-in-law. (I will take mine out for movies over the weekend once this piece is published).

There is another small problem, apparently the folder that stores all your good deeds is very small (a few Kilobytes, at best) tucked somewhere in the basement of the right lobe of her brain where selective amnesias are not uncommon. By the way I am also not too sure if such a folder exists in the first place! And if it does it must be a hidden folder! Period.

Now on the other hand you try to remember something that she said and that is the moment when you will have an Alzheimer’s attack even when you used all possible mnemonics at your disposal to recall it from the dusty archives of your rusty brain to defend your honour when most needed. Somehow Archiving doesn’t seem to work that well for us men as it does for the fairer sex…isn’t it?