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THE FRIGHT CLUB?
Experts talk about why fatherhood can be a stressful experience for new dads
Hollywood actor George Clooney was understandably ecstatic when his wife Amal Clooney gave birth to twins — a girl, Ella, and a boy, Alexander — this June. However, the actor recently said in an interview that being a dad was “terrifying” in some ways. “Suddenly, you’re responsible for other people, which is terrifying,” he said. Turns out, Clooney’s not alone. According to experts, fatherhood is often a tough phase for new dads. Relationship expert Vishnu Modi says, “Men may yearn to be fathers, but they probably don’t realise that parenthood involves a lot of effort. They also face a lot of anxiety before a child is born.”
Dr PD Lakdawala, a psychiatrist at Bhatia Hospital, says there are many factors that may cause a lot of strss to new fathers. “An impending delivery makes to-be fathers anxious,” he says, adding, “Some gynecologists encourage the presence of fathers-to-be during the whole process of delivery. It is believed, this strengthens the bond between the husband and the wife. If there are complications, for example, a premature delivery, the anxiety would increase considerably.”
A TOUGH TASK
Modi says fatherhood may look easy, but it really isn’t. He says, “For women, the difficult phase starts the moment they get pregnant. But for men, the reality hits them harder only after the child is born.”
Lakdawala says although their bodies may not be affected by the birth of a child, new fathers undergo a lot of emotional and psychological changes. He says, “There are no hormonal — bodily or physiological — changes in new fathers. However, a lot of other issues may creep up in their mind. The emotions cover a large gamut, ranging from excitement to anxiety. Often, there is excitement, which is a positive emotion. He feels joy, which is a cementing factor and he waits eagerly for his future role and for the happiness of his family.” New dads also need to come to terms with other aspects. Modi puts them into perspective. “A new father is not only responsible for the wellbeing of his baby, but also his wife, who is not in the best of health postpartum. Women may be on maternity leave after a child’s birth, but men have
For women, the difficult phase starts the moment they get pregnant. But for men, the reality hits them harder only after the child is born VISHNU MODI, RELATIONSHIP EXPERT
to continue with their professional lives despite having to care for them.”
MANY WORRIES
A new father may also have worries related to other matters. Lakdawala says, “A new father has other concerns as well, such as the financial position of the family, as the mother may not be working for some time after the child’s birth. He may start feeling that the entire financial responsibility is now on him.”