‘HE CAN’T THREATEN YOU AND THEN SWITCH TO CRYING’

I liked my classmate a lot. We talked and laughed together a lot. But, in the following academic year, she didn’t talk much and would just stare at me in class and whenever I was around her. What does it mean and what should I do? PR

You should graduate to the next class talking and laughing. This doesn’t mean she’s in love with you. Talking and laughing, (according to the physicist Steven C Cutter) means talking and laughing. I knew a girl at office when I was much younger. Keep in mind, India used to have offices then. So, while laughing at a joke, this girl thought I made, poked me in the ribs. This ‘poke’ was no proof of love. In fact, the poke was exactly that a poke. My rib still hurts from her poke. Luckily for you, she’s still starring at you, which means she’s not completely off the market. Why don’t you act on her stare and initiate some talking followed in time by some laughing, but no joking? Get back to the old ‘stage’ first. Build up confidence, and take it from there.

I am 20 and my boyfriend loves me a lot. At times, he gets possessive and says if I don’t marry him he will harm me. He then starts crying. His behaviour worries me a lot. What should I do? SR

SR, love makes people do stupid things. Shah Jahan built the Taj Mahal facing the wrong way as a tribute to how much he loved himself. The German Chef Hermann Swartz invented fried ham to impress his girlfriend Malhilde, who being a strict vegetarian left him immediately. Your boyfriend’s behaviour is similar to an angry fouryear-old Monitor Lizard during the mating season. He can’t threaten you and then switch to crying. It means his hormones and his priorities are all over the place. In my professional opinion, he’s reaching male menopause for the second time. Treat him like the infant he is, and firmly read him the not act. Feel free to involve his parents or other elder relatives if his tantrums continue.

I am 20 and recently a girl, who is a minor proposed to me. What should I do? SV

Well, dating is one thing. Physical activity is against the law. I dated a minor once. But mine was spelt differently, ‘miner’, and had a yellow hat on at the time. Now, what you haven’t told us is whether you are in love with the minor. And is it a C minor, or B minor? (okay please ignore that). Personally, I think you shop in the over 18 market. If you can’t help yourself, please stay within the law. Bribing is difficult in the present environment.

I am deeply in love with a girl who is my classmate. The problem is she belongs to a very rich family and I belong to a middle class family. She knows that I love her but she’s not taking the initiative to marry me because her family wants her to marry someone who matches their financial status. I feel guilty and bad for not being rich enough. I don’t want to lose her because of monetary reasons. What should I do? Confused soul

If the girl wants to leave you because you are not of the ‘right’ financial status, leave her immediately. Lovers can be demanding. Normal demands can be met as well, such as (a) please clean the cycle seat after using it, (b) don’t keep pictures of Kim Jong-Un in the bedroom, and (c) give up eating upma and poha in public. However, this financial demand is like extortion. Would you like to be married to an extortionist? I would prefer a contortionist, who would be much more handy and practical. If you don’t fit into their financial standards, tell her what hamlet said to his uncle, ‘To hell with you sister’.

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