‘Attraction is like breathing’

My boyfriend of three years used to ignore me, talk rudely and always tried to put me down probably because he was insecure about me being better off than him. In spite of trying to make him understand, he abused and slapped me many times. So, I started to cheat on him, may be because of lack of love in my relationship. Later, I revealed the truth to my partner and told him why I did it. But, he doesn’t want to forgive me or change his behaviour. I am not sure about continuing with him. What should I do? Lost It was Oden Hassjyord who said, “It takes two hands to clap but only one to slap”. Lostji, in my opinion, you rather date a burnt piece of toast than this villainous man. He has no respect for you and sounds like a medieval monster. Please return him to the dark ages where he belongs and find someone new. Anyone, anything will be an improvement, A piece of toast, an old shoe, a roll of bubble gum, anything. I cannot stress enough. I have been in love with a girl since my school days. But, she never spoke to me because of my abnormal behavior. What should I do? R Is your abnormal behaviour as abnormal as your incomplete question? You see my whole answer hinges on what your abnormal behaviour is. However, if by abnormal behaviour you mean that (a) when you are in her presence you jump up and down at high speed like your feet are on fire, (b) you like to walk around pant-less in shopping malls, or (c) you eat your hamburger with a spoon and fork. Well then in these cases, you do have an outside chance. Here’s an idea, and I’m just throwing it out there. You’ve tried abnormal with poor results. Why not give ‘normal’ a chance? Normal, such as short greetings, a quick word, getting her to engage in a natural, unforced conversation. ‘Normal’ has been known to work, occasionally at least.

I was never interested in marriage until the day I realised I should settle down and have an arranged marriage. It’s been two years now, and all the women that I have found to be perfect for me, have rejected me. I am wondering if I should give up the thought of marriage. What should I do?

SL Sir Gallahad, (the famous knight), had a less famous brother, Sir Rian. Sir Rian’s lance got lodged in his friend Kevin’s posterior. Sir Rian, then spent seven years trying to remove his lance from his friend’s posterior. This included two years of labour after his friend Kevin passed away. The point SL is you gotta keep trying. It’s the same principle with the common cold. You gotta keep blowing your nose again and again until all the phlegm comes out. Two years is not a long time for something which may well go on for 45 years or more. I say, keep trying. Pull that lance out. Some girl, somewhere, will finally say maybe, or erroneously press the yes button. Either way stay in the game.

I have been married for seven years. I love my wife, but at the same time I get attracted to other women. Is this normal? If it isn’t, how do I change myself? KD KD my friend Rajiv is attracted to three out of four women that he meets. And, the fourth one? Well with her he wants to try on her dresses. Thomas Short, in his book, The Art of Adultery, spoke of how attraction is like breathing. It means, if you deny attraction, you won’t be able to breathe. Okay, maybe I misunderstood his book because 46 pages of the 131 page book had pictures of baseball stars covering them. But KD, observe men and women from a distance. You’ll see how they stare at the attractive members of the opposite gender. In that sense, we are pretty much like red ants, who do the same exact thing. Please go ahead with the attraction. But, try not to act on it or you may have to read Thomas Short’s sequel, How Attraction Can Lead to Subtraction.

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