Breaking bad

Getting back to work post a break can be detrimental to your relationships? Experts suggest easy ways to ensure a smooth transition

Rejoining work after a break or marriage can be challenging at times. People may expect to start from where they left off, but things might have changed in one’s absence. Psychiatrist Dr Alpes Panchal says that when you return to work, there are chances you may have to start from scratch and this could lead to a bigger problem. For example, some projects or aspects of office work that were under you earlier may now be somebody else’s domain. And, this may create bad vibes between you and a colleague. So, how do you handle the situation? Panchal says, “This is expected to happen and one must not get personal about it. You have to be cordial and professional about this set-up. Your break has nothing to do with your professional capabilities. So, do not hold a grudge against this colleague or be rude or uptight. Be helpful, calm and reciprocate. Do not belittle anyone or most importantly don’t make it about yourself.”

Psychologist Kaehalee Shinde shares that one should take time and work towards preparing for the change. “Think about why you want to get back to work and what all you need. Don’t think that you would have to settle for something. Doubt will create anxiety and that will make the adjustment period at home and work even more difficult.”

THE SEPARATION

For those who are back to work after marriage, experts share that you should be ready to embrace change. Shinde adds, “You cannot expect miracles and things to be the way they were before. Things are going to be different both at home and work and it will take some time for you to get used to the new routine. Some days will be great and some won’t, and you need to be prepared for it rather than indulging in self-doubt.”

While work will have its own issues to resolve, back home, maintaining a peaceful environment with the spouse is important too considering you have just joined work after marriage. Panchal says, “If you feel home problems are spilling over at work or work tussles are making you irritable at home, you must first accept that the balance is lost and that you must do something about it. Speak to your spouse, divide responsibilities and share household chores. Do not take up more than you can do. It’s okay to say no. It is important to departmentalise your work and home priorities. When you are with your spouse ensure you don’t discuss work.”

GUILT TRIP

On the work front, Shinde shares that one shouldn’t feel guilty about your absence. “There is no need to be apologetic to colleagues and take in more work out of guilt. One must not take things lightly after coming back from a long holiday after marriage. At work, you’re expected to be as serious as your job demands. To ensure a smooth relationship with colleagues, make sure any leftover commitments are in time and if not, apologise. Don’t expect people to understand just because you were on leave. You cannot expect them to be considerate if you are not up to the mark with your work.”

Fatima Agarkar with hudband Ajit Agarkar