‘Don’t worry about what friends think; sometimes going with impulse is the best’

I don’t have a cell phone, and I have been secretly chatting with a girl, who is my family friend. I like her, and I confessed my feelings to her. She said she’s never thought of me that way; she will tell me if she starts liking me. I have promised her that I will stop chatting secretly to her. She said she would wait for that to happen. What do you think about this whole situation? Aryan Aryan, first and foremost, please understand that I’m on vacation in Huan Hin, Thailand. But as an agony aunt, of the male persuasion, the client’s needs, come first. (At least, that’s what I told the lady masseur, to stop her from calling the police). From what you say, the girl is keeping you in her reserve list. If any of the top players get injured, you may have a chance. In the history of ‘romance’, very rarely has someone stopped ‘chatting’, and thereby won their love. She seems mildly interested, continue chatting, and don’t force a response. My best friend loves a friend of mine. And, when they are with me, they constantly talk about each other, which makes me angry. I cannot yell at them. What should I do? Nicks Nicks, the Roman General Cornelius Piccolo, (known to the boys as Picky), had the same problem with his brother who kept talking about his favourite parrot ‘Lulu’. In a fit of anger Cornelius, had his brother put in the parrot’s cage, and then did a ceremony that made Lulu the parrot, into Cornelius’s brother, instead of the original. Weeks later, Cornelius realised his mistake. He redid the ceremony, as Lulu was a female. And so she became his sister, and Cornelius’s brother became his parrot. The point here is the answer is before you, and a little to your left. Tell both of them, how their obsessive talk about each other bores you. Then tell them Cornelius’s story. They’ll either get the message or get a parrot. I want to date a girl from my college who is in a different stream. I think about her every day. I don’t know what to do or how to approach her. My dating life sucks; I have never dated before. Please help. Rishi Rishi, think about all the things you had never done before, and how you did them for the first time. For instance, brushing your teeth, flossing err... okay, I still haven’t flossed as yet, so let’s skip that one. Reading the Communist Manifesto, buying Patanjali products, learning all Falguni Pathak songs by heart. See, everything has a first time. It’s a stupid comment, a cliché, but somewhat true. In the world of dating, Hugo Sebastian, the world’s most prolific ‘dater’, says three basic points must be followed (a) Don’t scare the girl, (b) Make sure she know, you exist, (c) And don’t make loud bodily emissions in her presence. Just simply approach her, over a normal issue, like an open gutter outside the college, or some such local college news. Left foot then right foot, and you’ll be dating soon. Remember, the ‘Hare and the Tortoise’. The tortoise got much more dates. Even if the hare had more children. My boyfriend broke up with me after two months. I was depressed, and couldn’t stop crying. One week later, I accepted the proposal of a guy I met on Instagram. He loves me and I like him. I didn’t tell my friends about him because they would think I am desperate to get a boyfriend. Was it too early to get into a new relationship? Confused AD Paco Montano in his poem ‘You’re a Worm’ wrote the immortal line the ‘early bird gets the worm’. Today, scientists and wormotologists concur that this is not always true. Very often a bird that’s early misses the worm who has not woken up as yet and worse the early bird gets eaten up by an even earlier, bigger, a hungrier bird who prefers birds to worms. So, with love, avoid looking at the watch. Is this your meaningless rebound relationship? Well, even the birds can’t answer that, as yet. Don’t worry about what your friends think, sometimes going with your impulse, is the honest thing to do. Bottom line, the new bird makes the worm feel better, right?